Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.
I'm passing IELTS in a 2 days
Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
ESSAY:
Popular activities like the football World Cup and other international sporting events are essential in easing international problems and allow people to release their patriotic emotions in a safe way. As such, it is worth asking if the international sporting events should exist. Personally, I think they should.
On the one hand, the international sporting competitions create a particular atmosphere which is exemplified by the World Cup 2014. There were lots of decorations in malls, many families got together to watch football matches with participation of their national teams. It should not go unspoken that during international sporting events, for instance, football, top footballers take part like Messi, Neimar or Ronaldo.
On the other hand, accidents can occur like during Euro 2016, when fans in fan zones began to attack each other, because of their different points of view. It tensions the relations between countries and tensions relations towards the country which started this. In addition, the big international sporting events sometimes attract terrorists which happened previously last year in France, when a group of enemies carried out an act near the stadium while the President of France was there.
Hence, I agree that the international sporting events are the occasion to facilitate tensions, release patriotic emotions in a safe way and lift the spirit, but there are also some bad things which can occur during activities like terrorist acts, the growth of criminal activity around the event and clashes between fans of different countries. These facts can badly influence the relations between countries.
I'm passing IELTS in a 2 days
Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
ESSAY:
Popular activities like the football World Cup and other international sporting events are essential in easing international problems and allow people to release their patriotic emotions in a safe way. As such, it is worth asking if the international sporting events should exist. Personally, I think they should.
On the one hand, the international sporting competitions create a particular atmosphere which is exemplified by the World Cup 2014. There were lots of decorations in malls, many families got together to watch football matches with participation of their national teams. It should not go unspoken that during international sporting events, for instance, football, top footballers take part like Messi, Neimar or Ronaldo.
On the other hand, accidents can occur like during Euro 2016, when fans in fan zones began to attack each other, because of their different points of view. It tensions the relations between countries and tensions relations towards the country which started this. In addition, the big international sporting events sometimes attract terrorists which happened previously last year in France, when a group of enemies carried out an act near the stadium while the President of France was there.
Hence, I agree that the international sporting events are the occasion to facilitate tensions, release patriotic emotions in a safe way and lift the spirit, but there are also some bad things which can occur during activities like terrorist acts, the growth of criminal activity around the event and clashes between fans of different countries. These facts can badly influence the relations between countries.
