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Popular events like the Football World Cup release patriotic emotions.


congchop 7 / 14 2  
Aug 10, 2013   #1
Topic: Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

Essay:

The biggest sport events like the Football World Cup and the Olympics take place every four years. Athletes from different countries come to the vents to show their pride of nation. Such events play an important role in bringing nations together.

When the event takes place, it attracts athletes from many countries to show their pride of nation. They forget problems between countries and play fair in the games. For example, from ancient history when Romans and Greeks were being battles, both nations interrupted the battles to play the games of Olympics. And in more recent time, Athletes from Palestine and Israel plays the game together while their governments were having disputes over the land. After the games, they even embraced each other. Thus, governments are trying to reach agreements via the events like the international sporting events.

Furthermore, people also release their patriotic emotions in safe way when they watch athletes from their country playing the games. Vietnam is a developing country, where has a high rate of corruption, poverty, crime, differences in culture. However when the Football World Cup starts, Vietnamese squad will try their best to play against other team. Most of Vietnamese citizens seem forget their problems to watch the team. They drink beer together in cozy restaurants and cheer for Vietnamese team when one player scores a goal. They even paint on the road with red and yellow color, wear Vietnamese shirts and drive motorcycles around some streets together. Moreover, the games bring families and neighbors together and even rival groups watch the games and celebrate peacefully.

To conclude, international sporting events not only bring people together, but also release patriotic emotions. The world would be worse if there are not events like that.

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Aug 11, 2013   #2
Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

What is the question of this topic? Is is a discussion or an argumentative essay?

athletes from many countries to show their pride of nation

athletes who represent their countries.
OP congchop 7 / 14 2  
Aug 11, 2013   #3
What is the question of this topic? Is is a discussion or an argumentative essay?

question is "do you agree or disagree?"
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 15, 2013   #4
The biggest sport events like the Football World Cup and the Olympics take place every four years.

.... your prompt broadly speaks about international sports events. Though it mentions Football World Cup, it includes all other sporting events too. So, do not narrow down the scope of your prompt by mentioning a particular frequency that applies to Football World Cup and Olympics.

Athletes from different countries come to the vents to show their pride of nation.

... I feel this one is a weak sentence. It really does not add much value :(
OP congchop 7 / 14 2  
Aug 16, 2013   #5
dumi
Thanks Mod for your advices. I admit that I posted the thread in wrong position
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 16, 2013   #6
no problem :) I tell the guys who post in wrong forums with the intention of correcting the usage of Essay Forum. Post into Writing Feedback next time :) ... Follow the structure I suggested above and re-do your introduction. :)


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