Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS: we can not forcedly put the same numbers of males and females into every subject



digitalidea 10 / 11  
Sep 10, 2014   #1
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students to study in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that universities and colleges should equally enroll male and female students in numbers in each faculty. Personally, I do not agree the viewpoint, because many different characters exist between male and female students.

On one hand, boys and girls have the diversity in psychological modes and individuality. Most of male students tend to use their left brain to think and act, and they are more rational and logical than girls in many cases. For instance, there are more male scientists and engineers in comparison with females around the world. Many boys are interested in science and technology, while a number of girls like to learn literature, education and arts. Besides, girls are more likely to prefer some jobs related to emotion and communication, such as teacher, singer and interpreter. This means that girls differ from boys in mind and behaviour to a large extent, and they both have better ability in the specific aspect.

Furthermore, it can have a negative affect on these students to require them to choose a subject in equal proportion of gender, and that does not conform to students' personality traits and mental development. For example, a girl, who is interested in literature, is arranged into an engineering department, but she is unlikely to focus on her subject, and this also can block the girl's future development and career prospect.

On the other hand, universities should encourage more girls to choose science subjects and more boys to study the humanities, and this could avoid imbalance of gender in some subjects. It would affect students' mental health to study in the environment of single gender.

In conclusion, it is necessary for universities to respect the individual choice of subject due to the diversity of boys and girls, and we ca not forcedly put the same numbers of males and females into every subject.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Sep 10, 2014   #2
Here's my take on your essay. I hope my comments can help you improve the essay in your 2nd draft :-)

There is a view that universities and colleges should equally enroll male and female students in numbers in each faculty. Personally, I do not agree the viewpoint, because many different characters exist between male and female students.

- Before you launch into your personal opinion. you should present an introduction to the topic by providing an overview of both sides. Then informing the reader of your personal point of view as part of the thesis statement.

On one hand, boys and girls have the diversity in psychological modes and individuality. Most of male students tend to use their left brain to think and act, and they are more rational and logical than girls in many cases. For instance, there are more male scientists and engineers in comparison with females around the world. Many boys are interested in science and technology, while a number of girls like to learn literature, education and arts. Besides, girls are more likely to prefer some jobs related to emotion and communication, such as teacher, singer and interpreter. This means that girls differ from boys in mind and behaviour to a large extent, and they both have better ability in the specific aspect.

- How is this paragraph relevant to the ration or number of students accepted for study in a university? Are you saying that schools should only accept men in certain courses in women in certain courses depending upon their perceived academic activities?

Furthermore, it can have a negative affect on these students to require them to choose a subject in equal proportion of gender, and that does not conform to students' personality traits and mental development. For example, a girl, who is interested in literature, is arranged into an engineering department, but she is unlikely to focus on her subject, and this also can block the girl's future development and career prospect.

- You speak of students being forced into courses they are not interested in due to their gender. But what if that is not the case? What if the university decides to have an equal number of enrolled students for each department? How does that affect the student? Do you still agree or disagree ?

On the other hand, universities should encourage more girls to choose science subjects and more boys to study the humanities, and this could avoid imbalance of gender in some subjects. It would affect students' mental health to study in the environment of single gender.

- You need to clarify what you mean by this point.

In conclusion, it is necessary for universities to respect the individual choice of subject due to the diversity of boys and girls, and we ca not forcedly put the same numbers of males and females into every subject.

- The prompt did not say that students of specific genders would be forced to enroll in particular courses. The implication of the prompt is than an equal number of male and female students should be accepted into their chosen courses instead. Therefore, your discussion and conclusion should only center on the positive and negative effects of having an equal number of male and female students in specific courses.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: we can not forcedly put the same numbers of males and females into every subject
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳