FORMAL EDUCATION - the best moment to start (IELTS WRITING TASK 2)

starting mainstream schooling early

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

The constant progress of society put a tremendous pressure on education to boost up these days. Hence, it can be argued that children should receive intellectual instruction as a very young age, I strongly believe that this schooling had better begin for 7-year-old children.

There are some powerful arguments when asserting that it is the early formal training that plays a vitally important role in children's growth. Firstly and most importantly, launching advanced tuition as soon as possible enhance children to not only gain and remember more knowledge but practice numerous social skills, which would form a strongly fundamental base for children in the future. Secondly, children may become disciplined citizens with logical thinking because of being achieved formal ethics lessons at a very young age.

Notwithstanding, I believe that there exists a plethora of adverse impacts of this. Intrinsically, childhood experiences that has a strong effect on people's mental health since psychologists have long held that the key traits of personality are determined at an early age. Therefore, pedagogy would deprive them of their precious time spending with family or playing with friends, which can lead to insensitivity and autism. In contract, if children start ordinary education at 7 years old when their linguistic competence is sharpened enough, it will be easy for tutors to deliver academic lessons as well as for students to digest the input. Finally, not every child has super learning intellect and they may become confused when beginning conventional education while their analytical thinking is not properly simulated.

In conclusion, it seems to me that starting mainstream schooling soon is evidently good, but in my opinion, children had better completely cultivate both mental and physical condition before beginning compulsory learning.

(285 words)

The approach to the essay prompt is incorrect. The format for the essay response is also incorrect. Being a 2 point of view with personal opinion essay, this should be represented by a 5 paragraph essay. The 3 reasoning paragraphs should be representing one public point of view each and one personal opinion. This essay was converted into a personal opinion essay alone. Therefore, the task will be considered partially correct and word count will be deducted for the unrepresented prompt discussion points. The essay will immediately meet a failing score because of the prompt and discussion errors.

Please remember that properly identifying which point of view is being discussed in every paragraph is important for the clarity of the discussion. Hence the reference to each public point of view as a topic sentence always ensures that the paragraph clearly discusses the reasons indicated in the original prompt. Your essay does not do that. You merely discuss personal opinions and observations, without indicating that these are representative of each public point of view. That is why the whole reasoning section will be deemed to be a personal opinion alone. Next time, properly restate the discussion and use reference words in your reasoning discussion to highlight the public (Groups believe that, Contrary to this public opinion, some sectors explain that, etc.) and private point of view.

You would need to write 5 paragraphs:
1st Introduction ( where you will give your opinion and why)
2nd 3rd and 4rd the reasons why you think that
and 5th the conclusion.
All must have around 4 to 5 lines.