A friend who lives in another country has invited you - IELTS - Informal Letter

Topic: A friend who lives in another country has invited you to come and stay with him/her on your next holiday. You are too busy to accept this invitation.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter,

-Thank him for the invitation.
-Explain why you cannot come.
-Ask him about other time to visit.

Dear Heidon,

I am writing to thank you for your invitation. It's very kind of you but unfortunately I won't be able to make it due to my hectic work schedule.

Let me explain my situation in more detail. I've recently started a new position as a medical information specialist responsible for COVID-19 vaccine project. Currently I'm under an intensive training program for new employees which consists of online modules, live-coaching sessions along with relevant quizzes. I need to pass all required courses and assessments before going live. Hence, I have necessarily paid all attention to pass the probation by the end of the training program.

Could you let me know of another time you will be free? I'd love to come and stay. I am very interested in seeing your tropical orchid garden you have grown, meeting your wife, Annie and playing with your son, Tommy. I'll be free in New Year and Christmas holidays or I can take a vacation in winter. I'd certainly like to escape the cold winter to visit you then!

Please let me know,

Your friend,

Timothy

Your opening paragraph is a bit on the serious, formal, and official side. Since this is a friendly letter, use a lighter, warmer tone that indicates friendship rather than an official explanation. The current opening tone is more geared towards office communication. Use the correct willing tone for each letter type.

The third paragraph is a bit problematic in terms of punctuation usage. Comma usage and idea separation by sentence being the most noticeable problems that plague your writing. Such errors did not affect the clarity of your explanation though -, which will be good for your GRA score. It would still be better to use a clearer topic reference based on sentence structure though.

This is a good effort that has minimal writing problems.It should get an average passing score in an actual setting.