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Getting advice from friends who are older vs friends of your own age



sclee2090 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2013   #1
There is an argument over whether or not getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends of my own age. Some believe that advice from the older is more influential and more valuable. Indeed, I agree that older friends are better at offering advice than friends of my own age.

Initially, older friends can give me better advice since they have more experience than me. Generally, older people have more experience attending school than me. This indicates that they have already gone through the way I will go so they are undoubtedly seasoned based on their experience. For instance, when I was junior in high school, I had a best friend who was a year older than. Though I was ignorant of all the school rules and work because it was my first year in school, he helped me out of the difficulties. He told me what to wear for the dress code and how to behave towards the teacher. Had it not been for his help and kindness, I would have not adapted to the new environment. Perhaps I would have fallen flat on my face like a person who fits in nowhere. Therefore, helpful and useful advice comes from older friends with more experience than me.

In addition, older friends are more knowledgeable than me in academic work. Not only are they experienced in school life, but they are also more skilled and more expert academically. As grades are becoming higher, students learn more knowledge and more academic theories. This means that the students who are older than me may teach me better than friends of my own age. For example, when I was a junior in high school, I always asked seniors about school projects and tests. I believed that they were more intelligent on the grounds that they were taking higher-level classes. I ended up having great academic performance due to the help from the seniors who gave me professional suggestions and even feedback. I still appreciate their help; moreover, I realized that it is remarkable when older students advise younger ones in terms of schoolwork. Hence, advice from older friends who have more knowledge is helpful for younger ones to be successful in school life.

Needless to say, I firmly agree that older friends advise me much better than friends of my own age. Not only do older friends have more experiences, but they also have more academic knowledge. From now on, there should be a long-lasting culture where older and younger people are more in harmony.

OP sclee2090 1 / 1  
Dec 25, 2013   #2
This is an essay for TOEFL. I would like to hear any comments and feedback about it. Thanks!!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 25, 2013   #3
This essay seems like a practice essay for TOEFL or IETLS. It's better if you mention the purpose in the title itself so that others can provide you with more task related comments. Also, you should have opened this essay in the Writing Feedback forum.

There is an argument over whether or not getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends of my own age. Some believe that advice from the older is more influential and more valuable. Indeed, I agree that older friends are better at offering advice than friends of my own age.

This is a good introduction and it is even better if you opened with a hook :)

Initially, older friends can give me better advice since they have more experience than me.

This is again a very good sentence to open your body paragraph. However, the next two lines sound a repetition of this same idea. I feel it is better you straight moved to your example.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 26, 2013   #4
In addition, older friends are more knowledgeable than me in academic work.

Well, it is better to preserve a general tone throughout your essay. Your topic is not directed at you in particular.(I guess so because you have not included it. Generally the topic s are not directed at a person and based on general trends) In such case you should keep it more open;

In addition, older friends are generally more knowledgeable in academic work because they have already finished their classes.

As grades are becoming higher, studentslearn more knowledge and more academic theories.

Students learn lessons / Students acquire knowledge / Students gain knowledge .... acquire is the better word for knowledge :)


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