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TOEFL "A gift can contribute to child's development..." - BOOK



hitchhike 14 / 24  
Dec 17, 2009   #1
12. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child's development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

For my seventh birthday, my father gave me a special gift and I clearly remembered that present. Although some of my friends thought that gift was not a precious one, in my point of view that book was such an impressive gifting that I decided to give book to other as a gift. I believe that books can help children in different manner, such as: improvement in their reading and writing skills, helping to learn about their home country, and amend their imagination.

Books are important helping equipments, which has a profound effect on the reading and writing skills of students. One of the significant reasons motivated me for holding such an opinion is the result of a recent research on MIT University. In this research, the effects of short story books on the learning abilities of elementary school pupils have been investigated. The results show that students who read this kind of books are successful than other classmates in their exams.

Since books contain the traditional epical tales of each nation, they are effective gifts for child to learn more things about home country. The cornerstone characteristics of children have been made in the childhood. Hence, this period is right moment for teaching various features of their country through stories. For example, I learnt a lot of things about the heroic kings and historical events of my country, just by reading the sagas in my childhood.

Finally, improving in imagination and thinking manner are other results of reading books for child. When a child read a book with some simple difficulties happened for main characters of the story, he learned how to solve his own problems and how to cope with troubles. Besides, books can extend the imagination of child, in that they can improve their view points.

To sum up, book is a very useful gift for children because of the fact that it can help them to improve their reading and writing skills. In addition, via tales not only do children learn many thing about their country but also this present can be increased their imaginations. That is why I believe that books are noticeable gifts for children.

s011208 6 / 13  
Dec 17, 2009   #2
I believe that books can help children in different manners

such as: improvement in their reading and writing skills, helping to learn about their home country, and amend their imagination.

why use different v & n ?
could I rephrase sentence below?

such as: improving in their reading and writing skills, helping learn about their home country, and amending their imagination.
greentea93 7 / 26  
Dec 18, 2009   #3
I think you should'nt repeat viewpoints said above in your conclusion. Instead, find another way to express your viewpoints
OP hitchhike 14 / 24  
Dec 18, 2009   #4
Appreciate for your suggestions both s011208 and greentea93. :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 20, 2009   #5
For my seventh birthday, my father gave me a special gift and I clearly remembered that present.

When you put 2 complete sentences together as a compound sentence, you are supposed to use a comma. In this sentence, a comma should go after "gift." However, many people do not use commas properly, so it is not an important mistake to correct.

Books are important helping equipments, which has a profound effect on the reading and writing skills of students.----the word equipment it not correct here. Equipment is never written with an s at the end, because equipment is already plural. The correct word to use here is "tools."

Books are important educational tools which have a profound effect on the reading and writing skills of students.

And the way to use has and have is like this:
A tool has..
Many tools have...


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