The given linegraph compares personal satisfication rates in four different colleges

Hi everyone.Could you please help me? Im preparig for ielts exam but i dont know what kind of mistakes i have. I cannot upload the picture.Thanks.

The given linegraph compares ranking of personnel satisfaction in four different colleges, between 1991 and 2002. At a glance what stands out first from the table is that ,despite the fluctuation of figures in different times the trend for two of the colleges is upward, with others being clearly downward.

As is observed from the chart, in 1991 at the top of ranking was college A followed by college B. Colleges C and D shared fourth and third places respectivly. On the contrary, the pattern was a complete reverse in the end of the given time frame. The figures for college C surpassed percentages of other colleges . Results for colleges b,A and D were placed on second, third and fourth postions in turn.

Looking at the details, figures for college A reached an all time high of massive 80 % in 1995, while sati6sfaction rates of college B was erratic between 50 -60% till 1995, followed by slight increase and almost stabilized by the end of period. Constant 40 % continued till 1998 and declined gradually to 20 % in the proportion for college D. Meanwhile college B saw a sharp upsurge to just under 60 % and figures moderately grew by the end of given time period.

hai reyha, i would like to tell you a little about ielts exam, i hope it can improve your skin :)

ielts exam have 4 section such as listening, reading, writing and speaking.
let's talking about writing test ielts, there are two kind of writing ielts (writing task 1 and writing task 2)
well.. i think you wrote about writing task 1.
in writing task 1 :
- the main types (diagram, bar chart, maps, building plans, line graphs, pie charts and tables)
- always recognise your information into following graphs :
1. introduction
2. overview
3. body paragraph 1
4. body paragraph 2
- in writing task 1 you should write roughly 150 words. DO NOT LESS THAN 150 WORDS AND MORE THAN 150 WORDS (but 160 words it can be)

in your writing task 1, i have some suggestion for you :
- there are 209 words and it should be minimised into 150 words.
- you should put overview after introduction, because in writing task 1 there is no conclusion.
- you should pay attention to your punctuation.

Hi Reyha, welcome to EssayForum :)

Apart from the above-mentioned feedback, I would like to help you by mentioning your flaws in IELTS writing task 1.

1st paragraph:
- The given line graph compares ranking of personnel satisfaction in four different colleges between 1991 and 2002. (comma is unnecessary)
- Overall,At a glance what stands out first from the table is that(in the first sentence you said that it is a line graph but in the second sentence you said that it is a table. Inaccurate information can lead to a low band score)it is noticeable that, despite thesome fluctuation of figures in different times, (comma needed)the trend for Two of the colleges have experienced an upward trendis upward while with others being clearlyhave witnessed a downward trend .

That's it, the introduction is the most essential part to reach band 6 or above. I can see an overview, but it was unclear. Remember, no overview or unclear overview can drag your score down to 5.0. Just be more careful next time and mind the above-mentioned corrections. Good luck for the next practice :)