Please correct me on my grammer,ideas,explanations examples etc..and grade it on a scale of 1-6 with 6 being the highest!
Prompt:
Many societies believe that the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human right. But it is also true that attainment of happiness remains elusive. Perhaps Bertrand Russell had it right when he said, "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
Assignment:
What gives us more pleasure and satisfaction: the pursuit of our desires or the attainment of them? Plan your response, and then write an essay...
In my opinion it is the attainment of our desires which gives us maximum satisfaction. Granted, pursuit is beautiful; it teaches us a lot of lessons. However at the end it is the attainment of our desires which motivates us to climb further. It gives us the confidence and belief that yes, we are worth something! It gives us a further push into exploring new avenues which otherwise we wouldn't have considered.
I was in my 9th grade when I first decided to participate in public speaking. On my first attempt I failed drastically. I fumbled, forgot my phrases and felt humiliated in front of my peers. My friends tried consolidating me by appreciating the fact that I at least tried. But this was not enough for me. Students younger than me were doing a better job. I tried again, increasing my efforts this time. This time too I did not do any better. A sense of hopelessness and despair hovered over me. I gave up public speaking. However, my teacher noticed this and forced me to participate again. She guided me on my problem areas. Surprisingly, I won the 2nd prize in the completion. The applaud after my speech bolstered up my confidence again and the hopelessness was lost in a fraction of a second. This achievement gave me an incentive to carry on and eventually be a lead speaker at school.
Galileo for his entire life had an ugly pursuit.After stating the theory of heliocentirsm he was rejected from the society and banished from the state by the church.His family life suffered.He was criticized by everyone in the country during his entire lifetime.But the sole thing that kept him on was his sense of achievement. He did not bother about about what the society felt and continued opposing the church's believes.His attainment told the world a truth which was previously hidden.He carried on his researches and experiments despite of the suppression he faced because the sense of attainment for what he desired was too great for him to stop.It motivated him to do more.
Pleasure of attainment of your desires cannot be substituted for anything. Its like the end result of your hard work, time and energy. If the outcome is not good it not only effects the confidence of the person but also his future actions. Failure too can have extreme implications on the persons state of mind.Hence, achievement makes much more difference to us than just trying and walking on the path without focusing on the milestone.
Prompt:
Many societies believe that the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human right. But it is also true that attainment of happiness remains elusive. Perhaps Bertrand Russell had it right when he said, "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."
Assignment:
What gives us more pleasure and satisfaction: the pursuit of our desires or the attainment of them? Plan your response, and then write an essay...
In my opinion it is the attainment of our desires which gives us maximum satisfaction. Granted, pursuit is beautiful; it teaches us a lot of lessons. However at the end it is the attainment of our desires which motivates us to climb further. It gives us the confidence and belief that yes, we are worth something! It gives us a further push into exploring new avenues which otherwise we wouldn't have considered.
I was in my 9th grade when I first decided to participate in public speaking. On my first attempt I failed drastically. I fumbled, forgot my phrases and felt humiliated in front of my peers. My friends tried consolidating me by appreciating the fact that I at least tried. But this was not enough for me. Students younger than me were doing a better job. I tried again, increasing my efforts this time. This time too I did not do any better. A sense of hopelessness and despair hovered over me. I gave up public speaking. However, my teacher noticed this and forced me to participate again. She guided me on my problem areas. Surprisingly, I won the 2nd prize in the completion. The applaud after my speech bolstered up my confidence again and the hopelessness was lost in a fraction of a second. This achievement gave me an incentive to carry on and eventually be a lead speaker at school.
Galileo for his entire life had an ugly pursuit.After stating the theory of heliocentirsm he was rejected from the society and banished from the state by the church.His family life suffered.He was criticized by everyone in the country during his entire lifetime.But the sole thing that kept him on was his sense of achievement. He did not bother about about what the society felt and continued opposing the church's believes.His attainment told the world a truth which was previously hidden.He carried on his researches and experiments despite of the suppression he faced because the sense of attainment for what he desired was too great for him to stop.It motivated him to do more.
Pleasure of attainment of your desires cannot be substituted for anything. Its like the end result of your hard work, time and energy. If the outcome is not good it not only effects the confidence of the person but also his future actions. Failure too can have extreme implications on the persons state of mind.Hence, achievement makes much more difference to us than just trying and walking on the path without focusing on the milestone.