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Globalization will lead to culture identity loss, do you agree?


IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
May 27, 2015   #1
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon know as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mass media and transportation todays experience a dramatic increase. What this happens is a phenomenon leading people to live in globalization era. For some individuals, this change is considered as awful tragedy which will break culture identity of people. Therefore, I would argue that although globalization era enables to lose some originally culture, to respect to this for moral reason is key factor to preserve the culture.

With regard to the globalization changes, individuals now live on modern technology in which influences strongly their life. Take mass media and transportation as an example, virtually all of media contents persuade people with new information or knowledge like how important dance culture in family party. Not only this, advanced transportation also make people easily to travel to somewhere and of course, this can distract their culture identity after they have wider horizon of different cultures. Consequently, what people do nowadays with influencing massive media will make culture identity to be blur.

However, others said that people had to respect with their own culture to prevent globalization impacts. According to some experience in my country, government makes regulation which appoints culture as one of important subject in school. As a result, people since they was still child, they have studied how significant preserve own culture and can be moderate to behave with new culture; globalization.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that though globalization effects influence native culture, I strongly disagree with the argument saying globalization interrupt identity of culture as there are always ways to preserve local culture such as education student at school about their own culture.

Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 27, 2015   #2
Hi @IqbalThemi, please find my feedback on your introduction paragraph below.

It will be better if you could give further explanation how the dramatic increase is nowadays.
Mass media and transportation todays experience a dramatic increase. What this happens is a phenomenon leading people to live in globalization era.

For some individuals, this change is considered as awful tragedy which will breakdamage culture identity of people . Therefore, I would argue that although globalization era enables to lose some originallyoriginal culture to be lost , to respect to this forpeople should show their moral qualityreason is key factor to preserveby preserving the culture.

Good luck!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 12, 2015   #3
- Mass media and transportation todaysnowadays experience a dramatic increase.

- What this happens is aWhen this phenomenon happens, thisleadingleads people to live in globalization era.

- For some individuals, this change is considered as awful tragedy which will break culture identity ofamongst people.

- Therefore, I would argue that although globalization era enables to lose some originally culture, to respect to this for moral reason is key factor to preserve the culture.

- With regard to the globalization changes, individuals now live onin modern technology in which strongly influences strongly their life.

-....virtually all of media contents persuade people withto new information or knowledge like how important dance culture in family party.

- Not only this, advanced transportation also make people easily to travel easyto somewhere and of course,

- this can distract their culturecultural identity afteras they will have wider horizon of different cultures.

-Consequently, what people do nowadays with influencing massivethe influence of mass media will make culture identity to be blur.

Iqbal, I worked a few paragraphs on your essay.
I made some grammar corrections. I hope it helps.
Also, please mind the following;

- linking verbs, know exactly what linking verb to use and on which part of the sentence they are to be placed

- sentence construction is also need to be worked on, compose your thoughts then bring them into writing so you can make a good and smooth article

Overall, I suggest more writing practice and widen your vocabulary.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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