Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Going to other countries to work or study is a optimistic indicator about globalization.

thuylinh08 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2014   #1
Here is question:
These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to do this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

Please help me correct and give me advices about my essay. Thank you for you time!
There is a increase of a goup people who make plan to study and live abroad. Overseas places are wonderful ones for us to expand and gain more opportunities, however, people may face up with a lot of difficulites when they are out of their homeland.

It is a common knowledge that experiences you get when you study and live abroad are definitely special that nobody can have. You work and enjoy the life with many people from other countries. Especially if you stay in the industrial or modernized countries, you will have more bright future. For instance more and more students around the world intend to study in America because they would like enjoy the better education.

Despite the benefits, people who study and work abroad absolutely have many risks that dramatically affect to them. If you want success abroad, you are obligate to be overcome race discrimination, language barrier, homesickness that can easily defeat you everytime. You can not avoid these thing just because every countries, every culture also has them. There are some subjective trouble which you are out of your hand to handle like war. For instance, when war happen in Syria, about 1000 worker of Viet Nam were evacuated. This indicated dangerity when you stay in the unstable countries.

In conclusion, Going to other countries to work or study is a optimistic indicator about globalization. Distance between many countries has been dismished which leads to solardarity, co-develop around the world. When you make plan go abroad, you should have a careful preparation to lessen your risk and enhance your success.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 7, 2014   #2
I would like to suggest that you mention globalization at the start of the essay as one of the factors that students and workers consider when going abroad for work or study. Then you can explain how globalization seems to be so enticing to these people and then they move to another country and realize that their decision has both advantages and disadvantages. Then in the next paragraphs, you can begin to discuss those specific reasons.

- You can build on your introduction using my suggestion above.
- ...an increase in groups of people who plan to study and ...
- Foreign countries are wonderful places where one can expand his horizons through learning new cultures and taking advantage of opportunities available to foreigners in the country. But such opportunities come with a degree of difficulty.

It is a common knowledge that.

- Use a transition statement to introduce this new topic.
- It is common knowledge that working abroad provides a rare experience and special opportunity that not everyone has. . Working abroad offers an opportunity to learn the latest trends in industrial and technological concepts. Staying in the modern countries ensures a work experience that will allow a transfer of information once the person returns to his homeland to work.

- Do not talk about education. The essay prompt specifically asks you about the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad.

- While there are benefits to working abroad. One will have to overcome homesickness, discrimination, language barriers,safety issues when working in security lax countries, and other work or socially related issues that could affect a person emotionally and mentally. These disadvantages cannot be helped because it is part of the work experience abroad and helps one to become a better person.

- You lack a paragraph that discusses the issue of globalization and its positive and negative effects on overseas workers. You need to have a paragraph discussing that in order to have your last paragraph about globalization make any sense or have any connection to the essay discussion.

I have offered some suggestions on how to improve your essay. I assume this is your first draft and you have time to revise it. You must discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad more thoroughly. This will require you to do some simple research on the matter. This will help you make more solid arguments when discussing both sides. After you complete the second draft, and the review shows that the content of the essay has improved and met the essay prompt, we can move on to helping you clean up the grammatical problems the essay may contain :-)

Home / Writing Feedback / Going to other countries to work or study is a optimistic indicator about globalization.