Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


GOOD AND BAD OF MULTICULTURL SOCIETY. DISCUSS



niraj /  
Sep 21, 2009   #1
Today a lot of different cultures and ethnic groups live together in one country. Why is this so and do you think this is a positive or negative development?"

Now a days, with the highly progress of technology and advanced communication
from media about various countries, people leave their home country and are motivated to move to another countries.In the past moving from one city to another city take days , now travelling become so easy and comfortable that the people can reach their destination within hours.These immigrants creates a multicultural society in well developed and desired countries .It provide many benefits to another country but it shares some drawbacks too.

Firstly, people from various cultures contribute in multiple ways to development
of countries with there multiple skills, characterstics and knowledge.For instance, United states of America is made of multicultural immigrants . The U.k. people contributes in the development of education where mostly highly qualified British people are working in topmost universities like Harvard and Oxford. Today they are recognised as best universities.African immigrants help in labour work in factories and industries in America.

Secondly, people contributes in broaden other people horizon by sharing their traditions and cultures.People make them learn how be more frank, share with them their music and dance , for instance,In France, Indian immigrants share their music and dance and teach them their language and make them learn how to be frank with other people and even their food recipes.

The drawbacks of multicultural society, that some immigrants never interact with other groups and they are socialize in their own group, and they are fighting with other group and creating tensions in country living in. In America, the Chinese people had made their own society and group where they don't allow their children to interact with Americans.The business people keep employees of their own country and sometimes they are fighting with other people on very small issues.

To concludes, they are many benefits in living with multicultural society like people learn other countries music, languages, culture and traditions but it share some drawback some ethnic people not allow their children to interact with other groups.

EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Sep 22, 2009   #2
Firstly, people from various cultures contribute in multiple ways to development
of countries with there multiple skills, characterstics and knowledge.For instance, United states of America is made of multicultural immigrants . The U.k. people contributes in the development of education where mostly highly qualified British people are working in topmost universities like Harvard and Oxford. Today they are recognised as best universities.African immigrants help in labour work in factories and industries in America.

Here, your meaning becomes incoherent. You start strong, although ungrammatically (I will fix the first sentence below) but then seem to confuse the U.S. and the U.K. Harvard is in the U.S.; Oxford is in the U.K. So, British people working at Oxford do not demonstrate the strengths of a multicultural society.

Correction of that first sentence:
Firstly, people from various cultures contribute in multiple ways to development
of countries with their multiple skills, characteristics, and knowledge.

A few more corrections:
Secondly, people contribute to broadening other people's horizons by sharing their traditions and cultures.

The drawbacks of multicultural society, that some immigrants never interact with other groups and they are socialize in their own group, and they are fighting with other group and creating tensions in country living in.

This is more myth than fact. It's also a run-on sentence.

In America, the Chinese people had made their own society and group where they don't allow their children to interact with Americans.

, especially regarding the Chinese in America. The history of Chinese immigration to American include laws made by Americans prohibiting inter-marriage and enforcing other sorts of segregation. Chinese men were portrayed as sexually deviant rapists of white women. Then, after enforcing segregation, Americans created the stereotype of Asians, and especially Chinese, as secretive and clannish.
Llamapoop123 7 / 433  
Sep 22, 2009   #3
In the past moving from one city to another city take days

^Moving does take days a lot of the time. You can't just move your body to another city and call it done.

The U.k. people contributes in the development of education where mostly highly qualified British people are working in topmost universities like Harvard and Oxford. Today they are recognised as best universities.African immigrants help in labour work in factories and industries in America.

^This is very stereotypical and naive. You can't just say that Brtish people work as respected professors whereas African Americans work as grunt workers.

In America, the Chinese people had made their own society and group where they don't allow their children to interact with Americans.The business people keep employees of their own country and sometimes they are fighting with other people on very small issues.

^Sounds like your saying...oh well english, african american, and indian people all contribute whereas Chinese people are unproductive introverts. Since when did Chinese people in general not allow their kids to interact with Americans?

You come off as really narrowminded and deluded in this essay. Revise please.
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Sep 22, 2009   #4
Lol, I see you have discovered that some topics are, um, more sensitive than you thought. You are right to point out that one of multiculturalism's flaws is that it is at least partly self-contradictory, in that the cultures it wishes to tolerate or even embrace rarely have such tolerance built into them themselves. Immigrants may indeed settle in ethnic enclaves, with like being drawn to like. They may also persist in trying to practice traditions that multiculturalists would rather not see practiced.

Your problem, I think, is that you tar entire ethnic groups with the same brush. It is probably true that *some* Chinese immigrants prefer not to socialize outside of Chinese-American communities. However, quite clearly many Chinese immigrants have no problem with this, and indeed do their best to adopt American culture, and have kids who view themselves simply as "American" without any qualifiers before it. Likewise while a higher proportion of university professors may be British rather than African, and while a higher proportion of laborers may be African rather than British, it is clearly possible to have African professors and British laborers. It is one thing to point out trends, quite another to use them to come to generalizations that are little more than stereotypes.


Home / Writing Feedback / GOOD AND BAD OF MULTICULTURL SOCIETY. DISCUSS
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳