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For good or ill, I a feel intensely drawn toward adventure, risk and excitement



hadi 1 / -  
Jan 4, 2010   #1
please i really like a feedback on this, my introduction.
correct it as early as possible

My name is M Hadi Yunus, and I was born on March 26, 1995 in Aligarh. I am the fourth child in my family I have four brothers. My Father's name is Prof. M. Y. K. Ansari and my Mother's name is Mrs. Khalida Begam. I am Studying in class IX in Aligarh Public school, Aligarh.

For good or ill, I a feel intensely drawn toward adventure, risk and excitement. I choose the overgrown trail while hiking, or to drive a couple of miles further into a different part of town just for the sake of seeing it. On a larger scale, my passion will lead me to participate in a variety of activities, such as studying abroad or joining intramural sports teams, for the sake of trying something new.

Another quality that identifies me is my sense of humor. I naturally see the humor in situations where others might be overwhelmed with awkwardness. I feel that my ability to see the comedic quality of life is a blessing rather than a curse. Though academic dedication and hard work are important, laughter and enjoyment are equally significant and contributive to success.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 4, 2010   #2
When you want to post an essay, please select "New Thread." Don't post your essay in someone else's thread.

I'm so glad you came to participate in essay forum!

I am Studying in class IX in Aligarh Public school, Aligarh.

I think that there should be another sentence after this one. You should write:
The purpose of this letter is to____________________________

On a larger scale, my passion will lead me to participate in a variety of activities, such as studying abroad or joining intramural sports teams, for the sake of trying something new.--------I think you should also tell how this experience will enable you to prepare for achieving your career goals and making a meaningful contribution. Express enthusiasm about making a difference.


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