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TOEFL: good qualities of a good neighbor; enthusiastic, easy-going, reliable



christie111 1 / 2  
Sep 26, 2010   #1
The thing neighbors have in common to begin with is proximity. Unless something more develops, that isn't reason enough to be best friends. It sometimes happened naturally, but the chances are very small that your neighbors will be your choices as buddies. Or that you will be theirs, too. The best relationship within neighbor is one of friendly distance. In other word, from my perspective, neighbor need not to be enthusiastic, but easy-going; need not to be intelligent, but reliable.

If you have an easy-going neighbor, you are a lucky person. You have someone who won't make a big fuss about naughty child, who is helpful in the little day-to-day situations that come up, and who is supportive in times of crisis. Moreover, when you are caught in trouble, he lead you a warm hand. For instance, he would give you a ride to work if your car was broken, and let your children stay at her house in the evening if you got stuck working overtime. In short, an easy going neighbor will your life easier and more comfortable.

Another requirement of a good neighbor is reliable. A reliable neighbor will watch out for your property instead of coveting it. For example, he calls you immediately when someone susceptible is around. He asks your permission before doing anything that interferes with what's yours. Furthermore, when something really awful happens to you, a reliable neighbor will volunteer to help in any way he can without any gossip. Such thing happened to one of my friend. Her parents were undergone a divorce when she was in junior. Because of the quarrelling at night, her neighbor, a senior couple realized what's happening. They helped her with something small, like letting her go to their house for dinner, and with something big, like helping her get through the sadness of her parents divorce. Though no longer living in that community, she feels touched every time she recalled it.

Such are good neighbors. They won't interfere with your personal affair unless there is an urgent. Living with easy-going and reliable neighbor is such a pleasure that proves the old saying in China, "A relative far off is less helpful than a neighbor close by."

Tomomi 4 / 15  
Sep 28, 2010   #2
Hi Jiayi,

I just realized some points in your essay. Let me give you my opinion.

It sometimes happened naturally, but the chances are very small that your neighbors will be your choices as buddies.
You use two tenses in this sentence. I think it should be 'It sometimes happens naturally...'

3rd line, In other words

For this sentence, "In other word, from my perspective, neighbor need not to be enthusiastic, but easy-going; need not to be intelligent, but reliable."

I would write"In other words, from my perspective, neighbors don't need to be enthusiastic and intelligent, but easy-going and reliable are dispensable for getting along well with each other."

"Such thing happened to one of my friend. Her parents were undergone a divorce when she was in junior."You use two sentences here. You can express your opinions into one sentence like this instead.

One of my friends, whose parents were....in junior, has experienced in being helped from her neighbors. I think it sounds more natural and more concise.

"Though no longer living in that community, she feels touched every time she recalled it."
"feel touched??" I guess maybe you want to say "to be impressed". I know there is another way to express, but for now I would write "Although she is no longer living in that community, but she was impressed with being helped by a senior couple."

I hope my opinion would be helpful.

Tomomi
murtaza101 1 / 10  
Sep 28, 2010   #3
I think Mark corrected everything the essay required, good job there.... btw can someone please correct mine? it'll be MUCH APPRECIATED! :)

P.S - While correcting mine, make sure to check the revamped version I've put for the correction in the COMMENTS section and not the original one, thx in advance!
OP christie111 1 / 2  
Sep 28, 2010   #4
Mark, thank you soooooo much! your opinions help a lot.
Yeah, you are right. I do lose control of the subjects and verb. But I can hardly pick all those mistakes out when examing. so, like I say, your opinions really help a lot. I will be more careful:)

PS. Are there any solutions to this kind of problem? Those errors might totally ruin my essay in TOEFL.


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