IELTS: Government should be considered to budget more for preventing programs

"Prevention is better than cure"
Out of a country's budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement

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Prevention is better than cure. In the national field, it is important to note that government should be paying more attention regarding the funding for supporting the people's health. Some people argue that it should be diverted large amount of money to support health education and prevent measure rather than allocate it for curing purpose, while some critics said the reverse. I tend to agree that government should be considered to budget more for preventing programs.

Helping people with health problems is not merely cured after the disease comes, but doing prevention step is stood as more beneficial. However, government is expected can be wise to budget amount of money in the post of prevention in order to increase the public health. For example, region authority in my living area has a health insurance program for people aged 65 or more to check their monthly condition in health centre. In any case, there is necessary to have a post for health remedies.

On the other hand, the cost for health service is unnecessary to be separated between treatment program and preventative measures. As both of mentioned programs come under a part of health program, it should be gathered in the same funding source. Thus sometimes it may raise problem related to the equality of proportion and also triggered critic from the opponent group. Taking Indonesia's case of BPJS, health insurance provided by government, which makes disappointment among members. Some observer noted is caused by the displacement budgeting in field of health service. In this case, I tend to agree that each of budgeting field should be separated to make a clear report and target. If it is separate clearly, I think there are no crush one another in budgeting using.

Having said that the prevention or treatment budgeting cannot be noted as the one is more important than other. While I tend to agree that the budget should be separated, in any case the subsidy is possibly occurred when one of them is ended up before the new budgeting is reconstructed.

I feel your intro sounds better without this line... I don't find any value addition to your essay by this line :(
Helping people with health problems is not merely cured after the disease comesis not a guaranteed way to ensure complete recovery , but doingmaking efforts on prevention step is stood as more beneficial.is a very prudent step that helps people to be free from such ailments altogether.

after this sentence, it will seem more interesting if you add some supporting sentences in the next which support this sentence, so it will make the readers easier to understand your points