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TOEFL :The government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries


fanju45 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2012   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government and corporation should share all their scientific discoveries with other countries in the world? Please use

specific details and examples to support your opinion.

The rapid development of human society thanks to many revolutionary scientific discoveries, famous for the usage of electricity, breakthrough of aviation and invention of computers. Nowadays, countless research personnel are devoted to profits of corporation or greatness of their nation. Under such circumstance, new discoveries will be unveiled almost every single day. However, even though these discoveries can bring a huge progress to humankind, I don't believe government and corporation should share their discoveries to the world at once.

To begin with, some scientific discoveries are greatly connected to national security. Those technologies can be applied in military are all highly confidential because they can't allow their hostiles master these things. Some electronic technologies can be used to interrupt communication or steal classified information. No to mention the technologies on weapon manufacture and aeronautic industry can be engaged in a military assault and. No country will be willing to take such high risk to share their discoveries. Imagining the manufacturing process of nuclear weapon during World War II had been master by Axis of Evil, how can this war end? And we may not have a peaceful life today.

On top of that, some discoveries should always be controlled by authority for people can commit a crime with them. Criminal can hack into people's accounts and steal money from it and into others' personal computers or mobile phones and get some important personal information. Also, the invention of new security methods will make no sense because people can get over it by study its theory. Spread of some new discoveries will actually beget chaos and jeopardize orders.

Finally, government and corporation make a big investment into scientific discoveries to make profits. Their investment can be rewarded as other companies or nations are not capable of offering specific services or producing certain products. The reason why Japan which is a country lack resources can develop into a financially successful nation is that they master exclusive technologies in automobile industry and electronic field. If their discoveries are shared, they could have made considerable profits and their efforts can't get paid back, so no one will be engaged in research.

To put all into a nutshell, given the discussion mentioned above, sharing discoveries is not always a good thing to human society. It may be irrational and unreasonable to some extents. Therefore, I insist on my standpoint that countries and corporation should keep some of their discoveries as their exclusive things.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 30, 2012   #2
The rapid development of human society thanks to many revolutionary scientific discoveries, famous for the usage of electricity, breakthrough of aviation and invention of computers.

I find this sentence is a bit too long :( And it does not convey a clear idea to the reader. I think you should re-phrase this sentence.

Nowadays, countless research personnel are devoted toprofits of corporation or greatness of their nation.

.... the appropriate word is "benefit" and not "profit".
Nowadays, countless number of research projects are carried out to benefit the humanity.
AryanK 5 / 20 3  
Dec 30, 2012   #3
your essay is well structured and well drafted. I like your essay but I guess you can be little concise. Hope it helps..dumi please read mine as well.


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