Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Government spending on public services? Facilitating art is not a money waste too.



Bunglon11 28 / 31  
Feb 20, 2016   #1
Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Art is becoming popular nowadays when some countries more likely to spend their budget to subsidise the art. It is argued that government should spend their money in public services such as hospital and school even though others believe that facilitating art is not waste money. Although I personally agree that government should spend much for public service, providing some budget for art is also can be conducted for some reasons.

There are several reasons that why spending amount of money for public facilities is important. This is because public service such as hospital and school are needed for citizen where those are related to health and education, which are basic needs of the human for encouraging quality of life. For example, If the government does not spend the amount of money in the hospital, it will lead the unhealthy life for the citizen. Similar to this, if the government does not provide facilities for education, how people particularly children and young generation obtain the education. As a consequence, those are more likely to lead the poor quality of life in a society that tend to cause other problems in different aspects.

However, this does mean that subsidising money to the art should be stopped. Firstly, art is a part of human life that cannot be separated because the great pleasure to improve the quality of life is coming from the art, as an entertainment. Moreover, art is one of the local cultural heritage of ancestor that should be preserved because it is an identity of the country such as traditional dancings, songs, or instruments. Also, art is able to bring benefit to the government that can be used to facilitate other aspects.

To conclude, spending money for public service is more likely to encourage society well-being for the citizen. While on other hand, art is said that it is not the primary need for all people in a country, I personally believe that both public service and art should be paid more attention because both of them are needed to improve better life for the citizen.

Diqon 10 / 32  
Feb 20, 2016   #2
I have read your opening paragraph of your essay, i found that there should be rewrite, let me try

While some others argue it will be better if money is spent to build health and education.I think that arts, health cares and literate facilities are needed for changing people lives . Your last sentences of introduction should be put your opinion.

in your last sentence of your second paragraph it would be better to put your own opinion too.

( ...In my view, I believe that spending a lot of money can solve problems in different aspects such as an unhealthy a way of life and poor education.

here, in third paragraph too, is better closed with your opinion again,

( ... Yet, I too believe also spending much budgets and preserving art will be a part of creativeness.

keep going to build your writing habits. i hope my correction will help you best.


Home / Writing Feedback / Government spending on public services? Facilitating art is not a money waste too.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳