Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Government should spent sufficient amount of money on development and promotion of arts and artists



mathew123 2 / 2  
Aug 25, 2019   #1

the heritage of a nation



SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS WASTING MONEY ON THE ARTS ND THAT THIS MONEY COULD BE BETTER SPENT ELSEWHERE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

The art plays a vital role in human beings life. Even though many sociologists believe that governments are squandering money on arts, others argue states should invest more in arts and artists, as it is indispensable part of today's society. This essay disagrees with the view that governments are wasting revenue on sectors like arts because these fields are good source of income and significant means to reduce stress from a society.

Perhaps, arts are good source of income to nation's revenue. Arts represent the heritage of a nation or depict creativity of an individual. There are number of artistic sculptures and monuments which attract a large sum of people all around the world. One of good example can be cited in the Cairo, at Egypt. The Pyramid, one of the seven wonders of the world, always attracts plethora of tourists throughout the year, which generate a huge amount of revenue to Egyptian government through foreign exchange. Thus, preserving and promoting ancient arts always have significant impact on nation's economy.

Probably, arts are good source of venting out stress. It is commonly believed that people are getting busier day by day because of rat race. Nowadays, citizens like to spend some times with their family members and indulge in some entertainment activity. This is where arts play a pivotal role in today's community, as entertainments like cinemas, dramas and serials are the inevitable part of human beings' life and vent out stress from their busy lifestyle. Therefore, investing in arts promote sustainable environment in a society.

To conclude, nation gains numerous benefits if government spends sufficient amount on development and promotion of arts and artists. Although, many consider investing in arts and artists is waste of time and money, it has many positive impacts on community.

razor0424 1 / 2  
Aug 29, 2019   #2
I think you spent to much space in the first paragraph. The first paragraph should just be an introduction which includes a general idea and your simple answer to the question. It is better to focus more on the second and the third paragraph as they are the main paragraphs, and how much score you will receive also highly depend on this portion. The other problem would be the "Perhaps" and the "Probably". You're supposed to provide your opinions and be confident about them, so I suggest you can start with something like, "I believe..." or "In my opinion...", which would be much more appropriate for a part 2 essay for ielts. The conclusion is quite good.


Home / Writing Feedback / Government should spent sufficient amount of money on development and promotion of arts and artists
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳