The government is wasting money on arts? Arts is required to express our thoughts and feelings.

Topic: Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that money could be better spent in elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

These days, the government has allocated funds on public facilities as well as the arts. It is often supposed that spending on the arts is waste of money. Although some people consider that it is significant to spend money on public services, I prefer spending on the arts and I feel that it bring enormous benefits toward society giving a new horizon of life.

There are numerous motivations for spending an imperative amount of the government budget on public services. First and foremost, these services are the things such as infrastructures improvement and transportation system, and these things determine the quality of life which most of people will want to have. In addition to this, more spending money on hospitals means the improvement of health of our society. Another reason is that sufficient fund for education indicates that the nation will be well- educated in future. As a consequence, the educated nation will be able to attain more opportunity for its prosperity.

However, arts are a way of expressing thoughts and feelings that cannot be convey in term of word. The arts, such as painting, literature and sculptures impart own culture, values, believes and tradition towards new generation. For instant, young people not only come to know about their own cultural history which is presented by artist in so many ways like theater performances, but also earn immense pleasure. Thus, it helps us to release some stress in life, so it should not be negated. The government should allocate funds for the arts so that it can be developed.

To conclude, a major part of government budgets usually goes to provide public facilities which is highly demanded by all, but the arts are also required to express our thoughts and feeling to all. Despite of having positive impact of public-service sectors, I prefer more investing on highly demanding arts sectors.

Hi Syeda, I have to say, you did really well in the task accuracy department of your essay presentation. You showed a clear understanding of the prompt and you were able to properly paraphrase the original prompt. You showed an ability to use your English language skills, which are moderate at the moment, to properly develop, present, and discuss the key topics for discussion within the prompt requirements. You should be proud of the work that you did on this essay.

I would like to see you further improve in terms of your coherence, cohesiveness, lexical skills, and grammar accuracy. These are the aspects of your essay writing that require more practice and focus on your part. Although we can still understand what it is that you are trying to convey in every paragraph, there were slight instances when you seem to have gotten lost in translation so your essay work had a tendency to lose its focus in terms of discussion. Take for example, when you say "own culture", the arts is used to convey the "culture of a people" and not just a single person. So your grammar accuracy is affected by your wrong choice of words.

This is a problem that comes up when you try to use complex sentences without really knowing how to form it. You should try to read other English writers, like newspaper columnists and the like, in order to get a better example of how to write effective complex sentences. On our own, keep it light to moderate. That way you won't be docked for points in an actual test.

Hi Syeda, I'm not sure but I believe this is the first time I'm sharing my thoughts and review of your essay, well, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be very helpful and even more so valuable to your writing projects. Here at EF, we aim to provide you with the most accurate and comprehensive feedback that will be useful to your revision.

Having said that, as I go through your essay, I believe you managed to answer the prompt. One thing that I like about you argument is the fact that the sentences are kept simple, the ideas are very straight forward, also, you made sure that words you use are not so technical, as it's not called for in this particular essay, you made sure that it is very conversational.

Furthermore, the way the ideas flowed in the essay is very logical, you observed a certain flow that allows your readers to understand or rather easily understand what your point is in the given task. However, for future writing reference, I would like to se an improvement in your sentence construction, though your sentences are easy to comprehend, you tend to add too many words in one sentence and somehow, this affects the overall aspect of the essay. Nevertheless, it's a well managed article and keep writing.

Hi Syeda, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF, we do strive to provide you with the most accurate and comprehensive feedback that will hopefully increase you chances of writing a well managed and well written essay.

The aim is also to engage you into writing, discovering new techniques, new strokes, learning new approach to different forms of writing and eventually getting used to writing your own form of approach to different writing projects.

I would also recommend that you read a lot more often, reading is the only way you can be able to learn new words, see them and know how they are use in the sentences,this will be very beneficial in your essay writing and in general writing as you will get to see this lined up in a sentence. I do hope to review more of your essays soon and keep writing.