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Many governments budget money for the sports industry



dieuhoa 1 / -  
Jul 19, 2022   #1

investment in sport



It is true that there are many nations financing for sports industry these days. While there are various reasons why governments pay attention to this, it is a proper investment since it not only improves human mental and physical health but also boosts economic growth.

The main reason for the government spending a lot of money investing in sports is to strengthen their country's image. Because of sports programs' fame, sponsoring such events is an effective way to attract the public attention. When matches are broadcast and advertised on various means of media, information about them including their sponsors may leave a strong impression on viewers. A survey showed that half of the world's population followed and watched World Cup 2018. It means that a 90-minute tie can make the country sponsoring more famous than ever.

Overall, I think that sponsoring the sports industry has positive effects on many different fields. Specifically, it entertains people, encourages fitness, and stimulates the national economy. Nowadays, people are so busy that they tend to choose boring sedentary activities to relax in their free time. However, the development of sports programs can be an alternative solution for them to recharge their mental batteries. Also, being inspired by athletes' positive energy makes everyone more motivated to join fitness centers, which profits athletic businesses. A recent study has illustrated that after an athletics competition, many people realize the spirit of sports. Therefore, they decide to register for Marathon Race established by private organizations in their area. This phenomenon makes people healthier and happier as well as helps the economy wealthier.

To sum up, governments sponsor a great deal of money for sports due to their fame and reputation. Because sports are advantageous to both human physical and spiritual well-being and the economy, investing in them is suitable and valuable.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15386  
Jul 20, 2022   #2
The first paragraph unnecessarily comments on the reality of government investment in sports. A statement that is not necessary since it is not being asked as a question in the original presentation. Therefore, it creates an inaccuracy in the restatement. By not responding to the reason why the governments invests heavily in sports, but giving a reason for it as a reasoning basis for the support, the writer's opinion is incompletely presented. Both questions must be answered in short form in order for the writer's opinion to meet clarity requirements.

Using an apostrophe to create an ownership word where it should be indicating a plural form instead will result in lower GRA scores since the writer clearly does not know when you apply punctuation mark usage in a sentence. In the "why" paragraph, the writer does not effectively explain how sports helps to increase the profile of a country. How does advertising and a tied score in the game result in a higher country profile? Why does that matter?

Examples used in the paragraphs need more consistency. There is a problem with the cohesiveness of the presentation in the paragraphs because the writer is trying to convey too many ideas, but very little explanations as to how these are relevant to the topic being discussed. Focusing less on the ideas and more on the explanation development, using appropriate and clear examples would help address that problem.
Iwilltrymybest 3 / 7  
Jul 20, 2022   #3
you have misbalanced 2 body paragraphs. Use more practical example to prove your explanations as it has little relevance to what you want to prove. The whole idea is really difficult to understand as each sentence support their own meaning


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