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governments should spent more money for health education than research-feedback



sobin 12 / 24  
Nov 15, 2010   #1
Nowadays the governments are more aware about the need for health education in their countries.most of the citizens might have think about the importance of health educations in their society.Is it worth if the government spent more amounts for health educations than any other projects?Recent surveys conducted by the government agencies reveal that the health education policies in the communities have helped to improve the general health in the country into some extend.However it isnot applicable to divert a large amount of money from the budjet on health education and preventive measures.

General health education in the society helps to give a awareness about healthy living situations in the society.For instance:health educations help mothers to choose nutritious food and arrange healthy environment for her children.It helps to reduse child mortality and malnutrtion.Teaching of prevention techniques and the administration of the preventive medicines have helped to reduce the death rates in a great margin especially some tribal areas in Africa.

However new methods of treatments are essential for the disease condition.Most of hte micro organisms are aquiring resistive power against the medications and preventive vaccinations.Therefore new researches are inevitable to prevent the spread of micro organisms.For example:developed countris like USA and UK divide a large amount of money for researches to develop new methods of effective treatments on disease conditions in their annual budget.

In short dividing a large amount of money for health education and preventive measures are not good and applicabe.Reaserch for new methods of treatment and medications is essential for the modern world.So the health budjet of the country should keep an equilibrium in between the spending of these two.The research innovate techniques of prevention so that, both research and health education and preventive measures are related.Because of these reasons I disagree with the statement.

adelyne - / 1  
Nov 16, 2010   #2
Hi! These are my suggestions:

-most of the citizens might have thought (not think)
Is it worth if the government spend (not spent) more amounts on (I think is to spend on smth)
-have helped to improve the general health in the country to (not "into")some extent (extend is the verb)
-after however you have to use comma
-budget not "budjet"
- to raise (not to give) awearness (not awarness)
-after for instance you do not use ":" but comma
-education is usually singular
- to reduce not to reduse
-it is not child mortality but infant mortality
-malnutrition not malnutrtion
- have helped to reduce the death rates in a great margin especially some tribal areas in Africa does not sound good maybe you should try : have helped to reduce the death rates significantly especially in some tribes from Africa

-resistive power better use resistance
- not medications but medicines
-Therefore, new researches are inevitable ( it does not sound good, try to use something else) to prevent the spread of micro organisms (this is one word).

-For example: (use instead ":" -> ",")developed countris like USA and UK divide a large amount of money for researches to develop new methods of effective treatments on disease conditions in their annual budget.

-In short (better in conclusion or summing up ) dividing a large amount of money for health education and preventive measures are not good and applicabe (applicable)

- an equilibrium in (no "in" here) between the spending of these two
-The research innovate techniques of prevention so that, both research and health education and preventive measures are related.( try to rewrite this, it is a little bit ambiguous)
OP sobin 12 / 24  
Nov 17, 2010   #3
Thanks alot adelyne:-)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 26, 2010   #4
Hi Sobin,
I see that Adelyne did a great job of correcting the errors.
I will enjoy correcting your next draft. If you have time, you can type the essay again and use the corrections. Then, I can correct any other errors you may still have.

Thanks, Adelyne, great job!

The researchers innovate techniques of prevention so that both research and health education are preventive measures, and as such t hey are related.

:-)


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