Gradual decrease between the birth rate and the population growth in Scotland

Writing task 1 "Demographic trends in Scotland"

The percentage of demographic trends in Scotland between 1940 and 2020 is illustrated in the line chart. Overall, it can be predicted that three demographic trends will decrease at the end of the period.

Initially, the birth rate and population growth rate stood at 2.5% and approximately 1.0% respectively, while the percentage of new babies was the highest one in that period. Both of figures decreased at a similar level over the following 5 years, proportion of population growth increased significantly reached 1.5%. This trend was different with the death rate that it fell slowly over 15 years.

The percentage of people who died in this country unchanged at 0.3% then it continued to reach a low of 0.2% during several years. There was also a gradual decrease between the birth rate and the population growth, while the percentage of the growth population decreased dramatically and this rate disappeared in 2005. It will be estimated in 2020, the death rate and the birth rate will reach less than 1% from total population.

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Hei there..., you have shown us a good report writing, but some improvement are needed in order to pass your test with flying colors.

Let me start discussing Task Achievement.
One thing that you should highlight when it comes to TA is how an overview should be developed. A very good overview is written with two sentences extracted from the each body paragraph. As it can be seen, the overview presented does not cover what TA wants you to do. Hence I suggest rewriting it. Simply follow what is being discussed previously.


Another point is the Coherence and Cohesion. Before constructing my report writing, I always strive to analyze what is being asked in the graph, and therefore I group the features as per the most significant differences shown in the trend. For this trend, you can divide them according to the time duration. The former group can be described from 1940 to 2010, while the latter one discusses the 2020 trend. By doing so, you are more likely to have a very clear overview broken into two parts; the past and future time. This is what most students with a score of 7 do.

The following sections are Vocabulary and Grammatical Range & Accuracy. Some students work hard to improve their vocabulary by memorizing some less common phrases. This is very good approach. In fact, some of them do not know how to use such lexical items in appropriate ways. Not only this, some are too frequently used and therefore this can be categorized as memorized ones. What about this report above? After perusing this report more closely, it is found that some memorized phrases appear such as





THE MORTALITY RATE IN THIS COUNTRY LEVELED OFF, AT 0.3%


THIS SENTENCE IS TOO BULKY. BREAKING THEM DOWN INTO TWO SENTENCES BRINGS GOOD FLOW.

All in all, you have written a report essay. It is mandatory that you have to learn from the feedback given. Hope this helps. A heap of luck!