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Please help me check this IELTS writing task 2 essay. Thanks a lot.
Essay Prompt:
Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently.
Whether grandparents should live with their families or independently remains debatable. There can be plausible arguments for both sides, as we shall see.
On the one hand, the elderly should live with their families as part of some traditional beliefs which have been passed on from generation to generation. It is believed that as grandparents sacrificed their lives and enjoyments to make sure their children have a stable upbringing, it is the children's responsibility to take care of their parents when they can no longer work. Grandparents living independently or living in nursing homes may lead to social stigma, which sometimes can be the reason for mental decline in old people and even in other family members. Moreover, it is safer for old people to live with their family to avoid such problems as robbery or accidents.
On the other hand, those who support the idea of grandparents living on their own often claim that it would be beneficial for both family members and grandparents themselves as it helps create a more comfortable life for all. Many families nowadays are dual-income, which means both parents have to work and they may not have enough time to take care of their old parents. This often leads to old people feeling being left-out or worthlessness, and gradually often they would be depressed. Furthermore, it is also true that living independently or in special care centers, old people have more chance to talk to other people of their age which can bring them the perks of being able to socialize. Indeed, this is what old people often lack if they live with their children because they would be busy at work or at school the entire day.
In conclusion, although there might be some sound reasons for living in a big family, the better quality and more chances to communicate are the reasons why old family members should choose to live independently.
Please help me check this IELTS writing task 2 essay. Thanks a lot.
Essay Prompt:
Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently.
Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.
Whether grandparents should live with their families or independently remains debatable. There can be plausible arguments for both sides, as we shall see.
On the one hand, the elderly should live with their families as part of some traditional beliefs which have been passed on from generation to generation. It is believed that as grandparents sacrificed their lives and enjoyments to make sure their children have a stable upbringing, it is the children's responsibility to take care of their parents when they can no longer work. Grandparents living independently or living in nursing homes may lead to social stigma, which sometimes can be the reason for mental decline in old people and even in other family members. Moreover, it is safer for old people to live with their family to avoid such problems as robbery or accidents.
On the other hand, those who support the idea of grandparents living on their own often claim that it would be beneficial for both family members and grandparents themselves as it helps create a more comfortable life for all. Many families nowadays are dual-income, which means both parents have to work and they may not have enough time to take care of their old parents. This often leads to old people feeling being left-out or worthlessness, and gradually often they would be depressed. Furthermore, it is also true that living independently or in special care centers, old people have more chance to talk to other people of their age which can bring them the perks of being able to socialize. Indeed, this is what old people often lack if they live with their children because they would be busy at work or at school the entire day.
In conclusion, although there might be some sound reasons for living in a big family, the better quality and more chances to communicate are the reasons why old family members should choose to live independently.
