Essay topic - Today the majority of children are raised by their grandparents, due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?
Todays, Parents work very hard and sometimes they work two shifts, so they do not have enough time to keep their children. Raising the number of kindergartens can make clear how parents are busy these days. Some parents are satisfied by keeping their children by their grandparents, while other people disagree with that. In my opinion, both aspects of this issue have advantages and disadvantages which will discuss in this essay.
Firstly, keeping our children by our parents has some benefits. The cost of today's kindergarten is very expensive, so it is reasonable that grandparents take responsibility to keep children. They are free during the days and they can support them. Moreover, we can consider that responsibility as the kind of job for them, so they can feel beneficial in society not useless. In addition, our grandparents who can trust them more than instructors at schools and kindergartens. We cannot criticize our children's teacher easily or make more orders, while we feel more comfortable with our grandparents. Besides, grandparents are patient and they try to teach lots of experiences, which they have to their children. For instance, I learned lots of useful skills from both my grandmother and grandfather when they kept me at holidays and weekends.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages when grandparents keep our children. They need to rest more than past and they are not as patient as needed to deal with children, so with this way we make more trouble for them. Also, keeping our children should not be the only things that we must worry about that; in fact, their education it should be first priority. Our children need to learn new things which two previous generations did not need to them. Therefore, we must consider gap generation between children and their grandparents.
To sum up, our grandparents are significant source of experiences which can play important roles in children's education. But these children belong to the future, so they need to learn new technology and different skills in some place such as kindergarten.
This is my essay that I am practicing to be ready for next ielts exam. Could you please just correct as grammar and vocabulary... or any helps to improve my writing. thanks
Todays, Parents work very hard and sometimes they work two shifts, so they do not have enough time to keep their children. Raising the number of kindergartens can make clear how parents are busy these days. Some parents are satisfied by keeping their children by their grandparents, while other people disagree with that. In my opinion, both aspects of this issue have advantages and disadvantages which will discuss in this essay.
Firstly, keeping our children by our parents has some benefits. The cost of today's kindergarten is very expensive, so it is reasonable that grandparents take responsibility to keep children. They are free during the days and they can support them. Moreover, we can consider that responsibility as the kind of job for them, so they can feel beneficial in society not useless. In addition, our grandparents who can trust them more than instructors at schools and kindergartens. We cannot criticize our children's teacher easily or make more orders, while we feel more comfortable with our grandparents. Besides, grandparents are patient and they try to teach lots of experiences, which they have to their children. For instance, I learned lots of useful skills from both my grandmother and grandfather when they kept me at holidays and weekends.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages when grandparents keep our children. They need to rest more than past and they are not as patient as needed to deal with children, so with this way we make more trouble for them. Also, keeping our children should not be the only things that we must worry about that; in fact, their education it should be first priority. Our children need to learn new things which two previous generations did not need to them. Therefore, we must consider gap generation between children and their grandparents.
To sum up, our grandparents are significant source of experiences which can play important roles in children's education. But these children belong to the future, so they need to learn new technology and different skills in some place such as kindergarten.
This is my essay that I am practicing to be ready for next ielts exam. Could you please just correct as grammar and vocabulary... or any helps to improve my writing. thanks