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IELTS TASK 1 | The graph shows the average Japanese month salary, and the prices of different TVs


anhhkia 1 / -  
Jul 15, 2022   #1

the correlation between price of tv and average salary in japan



A glance at the given line graph is an illustration regarding the different numbers for various television sets' costs while depicting the remuneration of the Japanese residents throughout 1970 to 2000.

As can be seen explicitly from the chart, whilst there was a predominant decrease in TV prices, the figure for the average monthly income of Japanese surged progressively in the same time frame. Furthermore, by 1970, the number for spending on black and white broadcasting technologies had reached its highest peak before witnessing an overwhelming plummet in 2000.

Getting into details, the expense of consuming the two-colored technological advancements, which were used to display content on a screen, experienced an influx reaching 110 thousand Yen from the beginning. Although the more cutting-edge ones constituted a lower rate (10 thousand Yen), compared to the old versions, by 2000 the television consumption values for both types had hit the rock-bottom. Moreover, the gap between the color TV and the black-white kind was expanded to 45 thousand Yen and 21 thousand Yean respectively.

Meanwhile, below 20 Yen was given to Japanese employees in 1970 and this sector then stayed stagnation during the 20-year period until reaching a record high of approximately 70 Yen in the end. Finally, the year 2000 also suffered a three-fold increase in the figure of Japanese salary and the price of the older TV version that customers consumed.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Jul 15, 2022   #2
This is not an appropriate task 1 essay. It is only 20 words of the minimum 250 word task 2 essay, which has a 40 minute writing time. A task 1 essay should be a concise 175-200 word summarized report. Do not treat it like a task 2 essay because it is not.

The report should not ask the reader to refer to the image in any way. It must describe the content of the image in an audience appropriate way, under the assumption that the image is not present. Avoid over emphasing the information as well. Exaggerated implications will not benefit the essay since the examiner will need to reduce the GRA score as such descriptive words will confuse the reader. Keep the formal tone at all times since this is a direct report essay.

Efforts to create an impressive report were wasted in this exercise due to the aforementioned reasons. When writing the next test, consider these observations to improve not only the writing, but the scoring considerations as well.
Minhhh2005 3 / 6  
Jul 16, 2022   #3
Your essay is really too long for IELTS writing task 1, which only requires at least 150 words. You should write between 160 and 200 words. It's not advice, but if you want to describe a line in detail and it has a similar line, just write "a comparable pattern was repeated in...". Umm, I usually use this structure when the graph has a lot of elements... but you could try...


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