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IELTS TASK 1: THE GRAPH SHOWS THE INCOME OF FOUR CAFE IN NEW YORK OVER LAST YEAR (HANNAH)


BAOBAO 1 / 2  
Jul 24, 2020   #1

summarise the information from the graph



The graph illustrates the earnings of four types of café (the tea room, internet express, wi-fi café and café cool) in New York over the last year. Units are measured in thousands of dollars.

Overall, there were significant changes in the monthly income of all four cafes over the period given. While the tea room witnessed a considerable decrease, for the other three cafes, it rose.

In terms of the tea room, it was the most popular café in January with a monthly income of almost $160,000. In the following months, the figures experienced a wild fluctuation until October before dropping quickly to around $50,000 in December. Although the tea room earned the most money from January to October, its earnings became lower than the others in winter months.

By contrast, the income of the other three cafes went up by varying degrees. The earnings of cafe cool fluctuated between around $30,000 and nearly $60,000, followed by a sudden increase to $120,000 at the end of the year. Similarly, internet express had an upward trend. Its income fell steadily to just under $80,000 in June, after which it rose gradually ending the year at about $130,000. Likewise, in the first 7 months, the amount earned by wi-fi café doubled from around $50,000 to nearly $100,000 and then rocketed to approximately $190,000.



jhhh11 14 / 30  
Jul 24, 2020   #2
Hi!

"four types of café (the tea room, internet express, wi-fi café and café cool)" --> I think that the diagram is reporting on 4 coffee shops, not types of café . The name of these shops should be in capitalized (the Tea Room, etc)

Identifying wrong subject will lead to a very low score. Be aware!

I also think that you should compare and contrast all the café shops along the way. Don't just describe them one-by-one.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,857 4179  
Jul 24, 2020   #3
Your last paragraph is too long. That is what pushed your essay into Task 2 territory. You only have 20 minutes to write this essay so you should be writing no more than 150-190 words. 221 words means you took almost 40 minutes to write this task. Remember, your draft should not take more than 10 minutes to write. The outlining for your essay should be timed as follows:

10 minutes - review the image and note comparison points
5 minutes - write the draft based on your notes
5 minutes - proof read, correct the errors, and finalize the content

Based on this time allotment, you should be able to write no more than 190 words. Try to write within the word requirement. Do not over discuss. This is just a report summary, not an opinion paper. There is no need to over analyze the presentation. That would cut into your task 2 writing time and leave you without enough time to address the Task 2 topic.

Keep your report concise. Learn to structure your sentences to be clear by using proper keywords and information from the image. You should try to write another Task 1 essay that has less confusing comparison points for now. Being a beginner, you should start simple, working your way up to this complex presentation. Do not start with the complex image first. You are not yet capable of quickly reviewing such a complicated image at this point. You see, this image is all about the overlapping points. Which you failed to report on your presentation. So your essay is good, but not really fully developed.
OP BAOBAO 1 / 2  
Jul 24, 2020   #4
@Holt,
@jhhh11
Thank you so much for your nice advice. it's really helpful for me.


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