The graph below shows information about the preferred activities in Australia and New Zeleand

chosen activities in two countries

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of youth's favorite pursuits in two nations in 2007. Overall, the children in Australia spent more time in outdoor activities, while New Zeleander were supposed to prefer indoor activities.

There are approximately 28% of playing sports, which activity was mostly loved by Australian. Next, more than 10% of Australians are delighted in visiting parks. The third most popular hobbies were DVDs and playing computer games, which both are equal at 15%. The least pursuits were reading book, and art and craft, which accounted for about 10% and nearly 8%, respectively.

With regard to New Zeleanders, the highest rate of children prefer art and craft, up to 25%. The following activities were books and watching videos, which both accounted for about 17%. A quarter of young people enjoyed playing computer games. The least popular were going to the park and sport roughly at 13%.

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Beware of spelling errors most specially when it comes to the citizenship reference. The examiner will be deducting points for every spelling error of any sort. It is evidence that a draft was submitted for scoring since no proofreading was undertaken. Remember that failing is scoring sections can result in an overall failing score in the end.

Whe indicating the measurement ratios, always remember to indicate who it refers to first. This brings the sentences into proper structures based on information clarity. The subject always comes before the verb.

Descriptive wordssuch as "are delighted" should be avoided as that is a personal assumption and is not part of the actual image presentation. Straightforward reporting without opinions or alterations are best.

I think New Zeleander should change to New Zealanders.

I think you may change the following activitives --> followed by, it makes your essay attractively