IELTS ESSAY- Graphic describing; Differences of an island

The two maps below show differences of an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Before the construction, there was noone living on the island. Coconut trees situated on the west and north side of the island. Sea covers around the Island.There was a beach, but there was nobody swimming.

After the construction, the island is highly populated. People have also built a pier, in order to improve its tourismus. Now people from the land have the chance to explore a newly founded island. All kind of boats such as sailboats, yachts, ships and so on can anchor on this pier.While staying on the Island, tourists can accomodate in the local hotel and enjoy seafood in the local restaurant. For relaxation purposes, they can swim on the beach, which is not so far away from the hotel.

The economical situation of the island is now improved. This island is not a wild island anymore. The nature here is now being used for commercial purposes from the people. It is now up to the people, whether this island can conserve its good wilderness or not.

Where are the maps? You can upload them using "attach file" option. Make sure that you have the images with your writing because then only we can provide you with more relevant feed backs.


... differences in what terms? You need to introduce them.


...."nobody" is a better word.


.... Island means a mass of land covered by the sea and therefore this sentence is not meaningful. Is it something else you try to mean?


After construction of new facilities, the island has become highly populated.

--> You can not use the word "below" here because there are no maps in your test paper. Besides, you can use some academic words like "reveal","illustrate" in stead of "show".

Most of the sentences in your essay is simple sentences. Why don't you use a little bit more complex sentences to get higher mark?

the economic situation


I wonder if this is mentioned on the map or it is just your personal opinion.


all kinds of boats

i can not copy the pdf file to upload the graphic, what should i do ???

this is the graphic

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  Foto.JPG
  

this is the graphic :) finally

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  Foto.JPG