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IELTS TASK 1: How greenhouse gases


Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 26, 2014   #1
The diagram gives information how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.

Generally, it can be seen that earth undergo greenhouse which is caused by process several factors .

Firstly, many people in the world are cutting trees. With the result, earth becomes heat. Then, sun shines earth that is heat energy radiated into space. This is then energy reflected off to atmosphere. Next process, many people are establishing build especially company which is producing smoke or carbon oxygen that is dangerous toward environment, it is continuing which extra carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels is brought to atmosphere that is cause atmosphere become thin and because greenhouse.

Secondly, in the earth, many people are using transportation such as truck, and car. They can cause pollution because they have carbon which is dangerous toward environment. This is then extra carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels and it is continuing to atmosphere.

To sum up, the diagram shows attitude of humankind that are causing effect negative toward earth.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 27, 2014   #2
Hey there... I see all your writing presented consists of a five paragraph essay. And to tell you the truth, this is not too good because the improvement on vocabulary sentence structure, tone, etc. as to build coherence and cohesion is closely loosed . Although many sample writings for the five ones coming from some corners of the world are confidently shown, this seems more likely to make beginner students hard to polish their sentence structur e. Focus on the time given, not the lengthy report.

To sum up, the diagram shows attitude of humankind that are causing effect negative toward earth.

An overview, not conclusion. [b]Have this link if you really really really need to earn a good score: ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2014/03/ielts-writing-t ask-1-overview-not-conclusion.html
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 27, 2014   #3
The diagram gives information how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.

The picture depicts how the greenhouse gases are produced by the sun

many people are establishing build especially company

i think this sentence quite confusing.
Many people are producing carbon dioxide from burning fossile fuels in daily activity. Moreover, companies are the biggest sector which play a crucial problem as greenhouse creator.

according to oxford thesaurus:
establish : to start or create something, such as an organization or system.
build : to make something, especially a building, by putting parts together.


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