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Groups or Organizations are an important part of people's lives. Are they important?


joseph240 4 / 12  
Feb 27, 2011   #1
This is my essay and it is very difficult to write it. I try very hard to use more specific details to support my opinion.

Can you please help me revise it and i very much thank you for your feedback.

Groups or Organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position

I agree that Groups or Organizations are crucial to people's lives. They can get more association with other colleagues, learn new norms and value for a living and apply all of them to the whole community. Joining Groups or Organizations will shape you how to survive a dynamic society.

First, People will have to make friends
Today, it is true that we must have a lot of friends so that when people have a problem, they immediately come round to help you. Therefore, if they attend a group or movement, they will have an opportunity to meet a lot of companions and hit it off very quickly. For example, Mr Karn is not outgoing and does keep company and when he decides to join The Rotari Association, he is a lot more talkative than he was a year ago.

Second, they will have an opportunity to learn new ways of living in a group.
Most of people who stay alone do not get accustomed to how to behave politely in public. Some behaviors are considered either unacceptable or acceptable. When they join the movement for a while, they learn new cultures like greeting and talking so that they are quickly familiar with living approaches in a rapid-changing society.

Third, after understanding proper behaviors in their own group, they can easily adapt themselves to other people from different backgrounds.
Nowadays, there are a lot of people who do not different cultures towards professional and personal lives. It is very hard for all the people to behave the same. Therefore, if they have an experience to make friends and learn good interaction among their own group, they can apply it to those who are very strange and unfriendly.

To sum up, Groups or Organizations is a path toward how to make a proper living in a rapidly-changing society. People can learn new approaches of leading a happy and normal life and do not trouble getting used to many citizens from different places through means obtained from association in their own Groups or Organizations.

OP joseph240 4 / 12  
Feb 27, 2011   #2
Could you please check my essay because i want tips to improve my writing for Master degree.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 28, 2011   #3
I did some insertions to your introduction (in bold) . Have a look!Man is a social animal by nature.Therefore I agree that Groups or Organizations are crucialvery important to people's lives because they. Theycan get more association with other colleagues, learn new norms and value for a living and apply all of them to the whole communitycreate opportunities for the people to get connected with each other and build their community and society.
OP joseph240 4 / 12  
Feb 28, 2011   #4
You cannot produce clear ideas like you in the brainstorming process.
I think if i practice everyday, my writing skill will improve a lot.
Thank you
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 6, 2011   #5
Keep it plural:
...new norms and values for a living and apply all of them to the whole community.

Joining Groups or Organizations do not capitalize unnecessarily---> groups or organizations will shape show you how to survive in a dynamic society.

Do it like this:
To sum up, groups and organizations are paths toward how to make a proper living in a rapidly-changing society. People can learn new approaches of for leading a happy and normal life, and it is easy to get used to many citizens from different places through means obtained from association in their own groups or organizations.

:-)


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