Essay - healthy lifestyle of individuals. Discuss both sides and give opinion

sinchana2017 7 / 18

Feb 13, 2017 #1

Some people think government should take measures on healthy lifestyle of individuals, Few others think it must be managed by each individual responsibility. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

bad habits equal bad health

Over the last few decades, the food habits have changed vigorously. Some people believe that government should implement measures for a healthy lifestyle, while others think individuals must take the necessary measurements. In my view, I have a mixed opinion and believe that both government and individuals should go hand in hand in helping individuals to maintain a healthy diet.

On one hand, few people are of opinion that individuals are of prime importance in ensuring their lifestyle and healthy food habits. The unhealthy eating patterns have triggered issues such as obesity, diabetes et cetera which seek immediate attention. So individuals should consult doctors and come up with a chart for their diet and implement it without fail. Along with this, it is crucial to do some kind of physical activity which keeps everyone healthy and fit. Including nutrient rich food in our diet definitely have paramount importance in maintaining a balanced died.

On the flip side, a government should actively involve in helping citizens of their country to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This can be accomplished by arranging campaigns about what makes a healthy lifestyle and importance of it. In addition, a government can levy high taxes on fast foods which are having an adverse effect on humans' health. Alongside, a government can arrange for free physical activity classes which are indeed essential to everyone. In western countries, the sessions pertaining to physical activity are organised by the government for free of cost.

Healthy lifestyle is the key to successful life which has to be achieved by everyone. In conclusion, I assert that both government and individuals should thrive to create a healthy environment which in turn promotes healthy lifestyle.

Holt Educational Consultant - / 15344

Feb 14, 2017 #2

Sinchana, when you write an opinion essay, you score better once you take a position, or a side of the discussion and defend it accurately throughout your essay. By doing so, you allow the reviewer to see that you fully understood the prompt. In addition to that, you also gain a better chance of improving your task accuracy, As well as the Grammar Range and Accuracy portion of your scoring because you will be focused on thinking about only one side of the discussion instead of thinking about how to develop two sides of a single discussion.

About the body of your essay itself. You did not properly understand the required points for discussion. Perhaps you made a mistake in noting the topic sentences which are " government should take measures on healthy lifestyle of individuals" , and "managed by each individual responsibility." , ending with ". Discuss both sides and give your opinion."

What you did was offer advice instead on how individuals and the government can promote healthy lifestyles. The proper discussion action would have been to justify the reasons why individuals need to take personal responsibility for better health. Then discuss why the government needs to mandate that people take care of their health (government supported health programs are a prime example). Finally, based upon either discussion, you should have developed a supporting opinion for the side you believe is correct. As per essay instructions, when you write an opinion paper, you need to take only one side because both sides cannot be right.

Do not rewrite this essay. You already failed the task. Move on to the next practice test. Remember the corrections you were given here and apply it to the next test. Do this like an actual test. You can't repeat the same essay in an actual test if you did not write it properly the first time. Failed is failed. That is the only way you can improve.

AABMOSALAM1998 4 / 11

Feb 14, 2017 #3

"In my view, I have a mixed opinion and believe" In my view, In my point of view and In my opinion are 3 phases that you can use to express your opinion.

"Few people are conscious of their eating habits and are acknowledged to discriminate between foods based on the calorie content and nutritional quality". "Few people are of opinion" It's not so clear what you mean.

In your first paragraph try to emphasize the point that every body is different.

akbarmappiare 31 / 445

Feb 14, 2017 #4

Hi Sichana, I have read your writing closely. You need improvement, especially your content. In the introductory paragraph, you have explained the different topic. I think you have to analyze the statement give so that you are able to know prompts relating to the topic. As we see, the topic is problems about the healthy lifestyle, but you have pursued to the healthy food. An examiner will score lower because you missed the task responses.

Turning to the first body paragraph, you reviewed the topic why the healthy is essential for each person although your job is to explain why people have a responsibility for keeping their healthy lifestyle. Honestly, you elucidated the topic widely, but you can tackle the prompt. Be careful of out the topic. I think you need accustoming for making brainstorming so that you can have a guide to help you make the flow. It is important because your score will be reduced. Keep in your mind that the task response is the primary response in the writing task 2.

On the other hand, you have been out the topic in the next paragraph. You tended to offer the solution for that circumstance. You can show the solution in the conclusion if you want. However, your main job in the body paragraph is to review why the government has to take the responsibility.

Hopefully, these can improve your writing. GOOD LUCK