Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS:High sales of popular consumer goods and power of advertising



Panda271 3 / 11  
Apr 14, 2011   #1
Hi all,
Help me to correct this! Many thanks in advance!

The prompt:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of the advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


With improvement in living standard, the volume of consumer goods is gaining considerably. Many people are of the opinion that this increasing volume is the result of advertising technology rather than the real needs of society. I am personally against this and think that people really desire to buy more goods nowadays.

First of all, we could not deny the great power of advertising. This is really one of the motivations for good consumption. Advertising brings customers convenience in their purchasing by telling them the new-launched products and main features of them just by sitting in front of a television, computer or just by listening to the radio. Advertising also contribute partly to the desire of customers in buying a product. This case happens more often to the categories with their idols using the products. They would like to mimic them, sometimes just want to be as fashionable as superstars.

However, in my own opinion, I think that a large part of the vast goods consumed nowadays is still the result of people's real needs. Advertising today is attractive and charming but consumers are getting wiser in their purchase. They may like watching the advertisements, they may staring hours at a poster or banner and admire them much but finally, the needs will the main factor leading to their decision in buying a products. Needs here is not only the basic demand, it can be also the needs to be outstanding, to be sophisticated and fashionable.

In a nut shell, people are now active in their expenditure. Advertising is just a motivation for larger amount of the consumption; it makes no force on the customers in their purchasing. Consumers themselves have the right to decide what to buy due to their needs, with needs here is defined as above.

Scientiana 12 / 42  
Apr 14, 2011   #2
Note: "Purchase" , not "purchasing ". "Rights" (authority), not "right ".
OP Panda271 3 / 11  
Apr 14, 2011   #3
Thank you very much Annika. I can see clearly my errors after your correcting!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 16, 2011   #4
This is a great essay. Thanks, Annika!

I also want to talk ab out the first paragraph. It is unclear. How can we make it clearer? One way is to add another sentence to help explain what you mean.

With improvements in living standards, the volume of consumer goods is increasing considerably. Many people are of the opinion that this increasing volume is the result of advertising technology rather than the real needs of society. I personally against disagree with this idea and think that people really desire to buy more goods nowadays. (Now add one more sentence to explain the same idea in a different way.

When we speak, we often have to explain concepts in more than one way so that our friends understand. This is also important when people write. So... explain your idea in a few different ways. :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS:High sales of popular consumer goods and power of advertising
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳