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IELTS TASK 2: much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side

AliminHamzah 6 / 9 4  
Oct 9, 2017   #1
In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. this has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side. this situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole.

what are these problems?
how might they be reduced?

the gap between city dwellers and villagers

In recent years, several countries across the world have economic stage that more and more increase. this essay discuss about the impact of economic growth that causes the gap between citizens and villagers and how to reduce it.

nowadays, economic growth in several cities center are happening so fast. as a result many investors decide to invest their share , so the construction of public facilities are more and more developing. contrary in the rural area, because of the absence their shares in the village so that the construction of public facilities is not like in the city. in addition,the number of immigration more and more increase because they are thinking it easy to get job in the city, yet will be over populous in urban area. taking example in Jakarta, because of high standards so that the number of immigration increases and makes it more crowded. the impact, this will cause congestion everywhere and making some work does not go smoothly. actually this growth is excellent if balanced between in the city and in the village.

even though the growth is good for our country but also have disadvantages, therefore we have to solve it. for the first stage, the authorities should allocate funds like tax to build some public facilities in the village. if the construction of public facilities in the village continues, more job will be available. consequently, the problem like over populous because immigration can be handled. government awareness becomes very important.

to sum up, this article try to portrait the one way to solve the issue and effect from it. the author suggest to people who have responsible for this thing to change the law about growth of economic, and still give attention to people who live in the rural area, in order to avoid a gap between urban and rural people.

winky_wong 1 / 1 1  
Oct 9, 2017   #2
more and more increase improve rapidly
this This
try tries

Hi fellow, if you wish to get a higher band in IELTS, I suggest you should pay attention to your Grammar.
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Oct 9, 2017   #3
Alimin, are you enrolled in English classes at the moment? If you are, how is it possible that you have managed to overlook the very first rule of English grammar writing that states; "The first word of every sentence must be capitalized." That is a serious and unforgivable writing error on your part that shows a lack of even the most basic English grammar skills on your part. Add to that the lack of coherence and cohesiveness in your writing due to the confusing use of English words and there is absolutely no way your essay will pass on the most basic requirements pertaining to LR, C&C, and GRA scoring.

The fact that your opening paraphrase is only 2 sentences long adds to the problem of your essay as the minimum acceptable sentence presentation is 3 per paragraph. It is this extremely short opening statement that led you to not present a proper restatement of the prompt you were given. Since this essay is obviously going to get a failing score in the final consideration, let me at least show you how a proper paraphrase for this would have gone. That is the least I can do for you because the rest of your mistakes cannot be fixed as simply as the opening restatement can be fixed.

The past decade has shown a rapid increase in the economic growth of various countries. This growth spurred increased life qualities for the citizens living in cities but not in the provinces. As such, a new problem seems to have been created in terms of economic development for these countries. This essay will present a look into one or two problems that this has created. I will then offer a solution on how the effects of the problem may be limited in terms of affecting the village population of the countries.

Stick to only the facts given in the original prompt and split your presentation up into individual sentence in order to offer a clearer version of the prompt restatement.

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