Have you ever read the article about global warming ? nowadays, the global warming issue becomes trending topic in the world. At the moment of speaking, i want to highlight regarding the global warming effect. Checking from the Word Wide Web, Global warming is defined as process that makes the temperature of world is increasing so that inflicts vast numbers of negative effects.
In the present, many countries in the world try to prevent the global warming effect due to the fact that the effect of global warming is tremendously horrible. One of global warming effects is melting of the polar ice caps because of increasing temperature. We can imagine, if the polar ice caps melted year by year, the life creations in the polar ice caps would be extinct such as the bear poles, penguin, and seals are not found again. Then, the future generation does not know the entity of polar ice caps.
Right now, we have to become a part of the responsible individuals who participate to avert the global warming effect. It can start from ourself such as decline of the usage motorised vehicles, do not cut down the trees reckless, and do not waste the electricity resource. In my opinion, it is simple ways to do. If it is not us ? then who will ?
thank you, make use of your time to read my article.
Hello Agung,
Nice essay. I have suggestion which is your writing
Checking from the W ord Wide Web, Global warming ...
... to the fact that the effect of global warming [repetition ] is tremendously horrible.
One of global warming effects is are melting of the polar ice caps because of increasing of temperature
Right now all in all, we have to become a part of ...
... do not cut down the trees reckless, and do not waste the electricity resource
hope these help
yo!
got some correction which would help your essay
1) Have you ever read thean article about global warming ? (we have yet known which article we should read. therefore, using "an" would be advisable)
2) Worl d Wide Web
3)Global warming is defined as process thatwhich makes the world's temperature of world is increasing so high that may inflictsvast numbers ofmany negative effects.
4) ourselves
5) motoriz ed
6) it is the simplest ways to do
hope it could help.
Hi Agung. This is my correction, hope it can help you.
Nn owadays, (you can use also: In this day and age, Currently, These days, etc.) the global warming issue ....
..... speaking, iI want to highlight ....
..... is defined as process==> it should be a process(consider adding an article) that makes the temperature of ....
.... start from ourself such as A decline(you have to pay attention more to an article) of the usage ....
Please be careful of repetition word, you can looking for a similar word to reduce this problem.
Keep writing!!
I wish the above remarks are helpful.
hello mr.agung, nice to see your essay and also i really appreciate with your efforts to do this essay. And also, it was an interesting topic because there are many topic about global warming. To make your essay more good, i have some correction and advice for you. Keep watch!
On your essay, i found a lot of repetition, such as effect and global warming. i suggest to you to find a similar word about that and also change it to your essay, it makes your reader bored within your essay. And then, on the first sentence of second paragraph, you write "...........the global warming effect due to the fact that the effect of global warming..........." I know about the meaning that sentence, but i think it's more good to use "because", due to the fact that your next words is also talking about "effect". So it is more good to use "because" rather than "due to the fact"
I think that's enough from me, and also keep practice to improve your skills on writing!
