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WRITING TASK 2 - history as well as science subjects play the equal important role in our life



vivianhuynh 1 / -  
May 26, 2021   #1
Topic:

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.


Other people think that in today's world subjects like science Science and technology are more important than History.
Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience


In today's society we are living in a world where the important level of subjects is a heated topic and often discussed.
While many people believe that history is one of the most crucial subjects, others think that students should focus on other subjects such as science and technology. From my perspective, history as well as science subjects play the equal important role in our life. The main purpose of this essay is to discuss both sides of this argument and give the reasons behind my opinion.

The first and foremost, history is appreciated because it helps students develop their patriotism and have thorough insight into historical problems. For example, Vietnamese students are taught about the historical highlights in Viet Nam like the war and many great figures who sacrificed because of the peace and independence of their country. In addition, the young generation can understand how their ancestors escape from colonization. Therefore, students would take pride in their origin and have the responsibility to protect and improve their country in the future.

On the other hand, I advocate those who believe that subjects like technology and science are more crucial than history. Nowadays, the advance of technology gives the young generation many opportunities to get a good job with the high income. Due to the diversity of career opportunity, students put more emphasis on studying these subjects. For instance, data analyst is one of the highly paid careers and also recruited by many companies.

In conclusion, both history and science subjects have own importance. While history helps people enhance their understanding about the ups and downs of their country, science subjects give them a career opportunity. Hence, people need to balance between both subjects instead of concentrating on just the one. (292 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
May 27, 2021   #2
The main purpose of this essay is to discuss both sides of this argument and give the reasons behind my opinion.

It is not necessary to explain the discussion instructions. Your clear thesis statement as represented by the previous sentences already accomplished that task. Repeating the instructions do not help increase your score. It is the thesis statement that does that through TA compliance.

There is a problem in the reasoning presentation though. While the first presentation is general enough, the lack of third person pronoun usage implies this is a personal statement rather than an insight into the public point of view. Another problem is that the general discussion of the second reason is missing. You went directly to your point of view. This will cause a lower, possibly non-passing score. This will be due to the missing 2nd public discussion point. Read the instructions carefully. It asks you to :

Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

That instruction is indicative of a 3 paragraph comparison essay.

While the discussion is relevant and partially on-point, you have to make sure that you use the correct discussion format to boost the all important TA score and, the C+ C presentation for clarity purposes in relation to the prompt.


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