IELTS Writing Task 1- Households owning electronic devices

Jennieaufif 2 / 2

Apr 4, 2024 #1

The line graph demonstrates the proportion of households including four technological gadgets over 2 decades. As can be seen, every device performed a significant upward trend throughout the period. It could be observed that the upside-down situation happened to MP3 player from 1995, when this gadget took the lead of overall percentage, however, the position shifted to be overtaken by other devices in 2015.

In 1995, MP3 player made up the majority, hit the top spot at over 15%, while mobile phone and computer presented the same figure at around 9%, it was also their lowest point. In this period, tablet had not been introduced until in 2002.

After many years later, all gadgets presented considerable increase, while MP3 player maintained a stable growth from 2000 and raised to over 40% in 2015, mobile phone and computer illustrated rapid development at 70% in 2000 and at 60% in 2005 respectively, then continued to keep a rising trend till they both reached the peak at 96% in 2015. It was not until in 2002 that the tablet debuted and constantly rose throughout many years that we can see the remarkable growth in 2010, after that it steadily increased till 2015 at over 80%, becoming the third most popular device over 20 years.

*Writer's note: Please help to check my essay, I really appreciate your comments!

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Holt Educational Consultant - / 15258

Apr 13, 2024 #2

Do not overwrite in the task 1 essay. Stay within the 200 maximum word count. Writing more than that indicates that you will cut into your task 2 writing time. Leaving you with lesser time to complete the longer, 250 minimum essay. You will have to time yourself well in this instance since there is no actual timer available for you to rely on in terms of keeping you on track with your writing. So you have to be conscious of how many words you can actually write within 20 minutes. You need to learn to write in a concise manner. Your paragraphs tend to be too long because you are over explaining. These could prove to be problems during the actual test.