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Are human beings by nature primarily selfish or unselfish? SAT Essay.


milamiller 4 / 6 5  
Apr 6, 2015   #1
Are human beings by nature primarly selfish or unselfish?

The assertion that people are selfish from the moment they are born has been a major subject to argue about among psychologists and philosophers throughout the history. Humans are driven by their needs and desire to live which makes them prioritize their problems. That is why persons are more egoistic than altruisitc. There are many examples of that in history.

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EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Apr 6, 2015   #2
Are human beings by nature primarily selfish or unselfish?

The assertion that people are selfish from the moment they are born, has been a major subject to arguefor argument among psychologists and philosophers throughout the history. Humans are driven by their needs, and desire to live, which make them prioritize their problems. That is why persons are more egoistic than altruistic . There are many examples of that in history.

Back in ancient times in China, there was a philosophical movement called legalism. The major principle and belief of legalism was that a human was egoistic by nature and should be severely controlled and punished on order to overcome an inborn tendency.

The evidence of that can be found throughout the history. For instance, queen of France and Navarre, Marie Antoinette, who was a lover of all sorts of cakes and luxury balls, when heard about the lack of bread her people were facing, advised them to eat brioche instead (F rench name for sugary buns). She was so selfish to throw all the country's money to buy herself expensive commodities and arrange balls. Anyway, such and attitude was a reason of the French Revolution, in 1789.

In conclusion, every action or movement a person makes is motivated by their egoism and self-serving impulse.

Your brief essay does seem to cover the question, though. I think the two historical proofs you gave were strong enough to make the point. However, in your introduction, you said there are "many" examples. But then you only list two. Can you think of one more; this would make it "many", and not just a couple of examples.

You need to pay more attention, to your spelling and punctuation. Some of your sentences needed to be broken up, with commas, to allow for pauses for the reader, a "breathe".

Is the word, "primarily" something you could use, too, to expand a bit? Because while you made you point, perhaps you could allow that sometimes people are heroic, when called upon by necessity. Just a thought. Or you could tweak your conclusion, to repeat the word "primarily", from the question: "In conclusion, every action or movement a person makes is primarily motivated by their egoism and self-serving impulse.

Good job!

ef_carol
amytsai 2 / 3  
Apr 15, 2015   #3
The major principle...on order to overcome an invorn tendency --->The major principle...in order to overcome an invorn tendency

I think your examples are good and easily to expand. Your words are very accurate. But it's better if you write one more example. Sat teachers prefer 5 paragraphs and a long essay. Writing 3 examples will probably makes your essay looks longer and makes your grade nicer! :)

Keep going!


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