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'Human nature' - IELTS; possible to prevent children growing up to be criminals?



devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 1, 2013   #1
IELTS ESSAY TASK2:
Question:
Some scientists believe that by studying the behavior of three-year-old children we can understand whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to prevent children growing up to be criminals?

Answer:
Human nature does not have a character of crime, but situation force them to do crime. In my point of view there are chances of children can be avoid to become criminals in the future. It is true that scientists acceptance of learning characters of three-year old children to become criminals.

Circumstances force children to become future criminal. For example, due to poverty many force to do crime like kidnapping, murder, snatching jewelries, pickpocket etc. If we eliminate poverty from the world crime rate will be reduced.

Moreover, another reason for crime is unemployment which is the biggest issue in this competitive world. To exemplify, unemployed graduates who want to satisfy their necessities they choose crime to fulfill their ambition.

In addition, there are more chance of grow up children in honest way of life. By guiding and teaching values of life, responsibility, relationship, ambition, confidence, obedience, etc. Furthermore, children should be encouraged to aware about severity of crime and it effects to the society. So that they will become responsible and ambition-oriented individual.

In a nutshell, crime is not a character of human nature; it is the situation makes them criminal. By teaching valuable qualities of life to children and crime brutality to society helps children to be a responsible, honest, compassionate, sophisticated individual in the future.

KhanhZ 5 / 131  
Jan 2, 2013   #2
Hello, Devaraj)
To be frank, your essay is riddled with very basic grammatical errors, so you should really be attentive to that. I substitued some words and sentences in your essay with more advanced ones to aid in enlarging your vocabulary. I hope it helps))
OP devabe2005 46 / 96  
Jan 2, 2013   #3
Thanks KhanhZ
It is very useful to learn my mistakes.


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