IELTS task 2: Humanitarian aid for poor countries in time of natural disaster

Topic:

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disaster.

Do you agree or disagree?

There is opinion that in time of catastrophe, wealthy nations should provide less prosperous one with humanitarian aid. I agree with this viewpoint because the support from rich countries will help reduce the damage of the disaster and strengthen the international influence of the countries providing the relief.

Firstly, humanitarian relief from wealthy countries helps reduce the devastating effect of the disaster. Poor countries are vulnerable in case natural disaster happens as they do not have enough resources to help all of their people. As a result, if other countries do not provide support, many people will die and famine and epidemic will happen after the disaster due to the shortage of food and medical care. For instance, the earthquake in Haiti in 2010 led to massive death and food shortage. In addition, as the infrastructure was destroyed, injured people didn't receive enough medical support. But for the help from other countries, Haiti couldn't have recovered from the disaster.

Secondly, by helping poorer countries in time of catastrophe, wealthy nations can increase their international influence. "A friend in need is a friend in deed". By providing support to poorer countries in time they need it the most, the countries providing assistance will win people's minds and hearts. This is beneficial to them in closing favorable international deals in the future. For example, Japan has been giving Vietnam a lot of humanitarian aid whenever Vietnam experiences a disaster. As a result, Japan has won many million-dollar worth contracts in constructing infrastructure in Vietnam without any objection from Vietnamese people.

In conclusion, I agree that developed nations should provide humanitarian relief to less developed one in time of disaster as it will help reduce the suffering of the people in these countries and benefit the countries providing support in term of gaining soft-power worldwide.

I would appreciate all your comments. Thank you

Well written, good job by including an apt example.

There is a lack of coherence in your reasoning presentation. You did a good job in presenting the reason why rich countries should help the poor ones during a disaster. However, you did not qualify the example that you gave. By qualifying your example, I mean you should have used the second paragraph to further develop the explanation as to how the relief given by the rich countries helped Haiti recover from the earthquake. By doing the following, you will have presented a cohesive and coherent reasoning discussion in your essay:

Par. 2: Earthquake disaster relief from other countries helped Haiti recover
Par. 3: Examples of how the relief was used in the recovery of the country that had a positive result for Haiti. This will be the justification for the need for aid.

Such a presentation would have shown a fluid explanation of your reasoning. Cohesiveness comes from the relation of the reason (aid during the earthquake) to the result (recovery of Haiti from the disaster). The coherence will come from how well you relate the explanations using appropriate vocabulary and transition sentences between the paragraphs.

Try to use 3 sentences minimum for the prompt paraphrase and concluding paraphrase. Don't combine topics into one sentence. You are aiming to show your ability to use a mix of simple and complex sentences in every paragraph presentation. You will score better when you prove that ability in the paraphrase sections.