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Humankind is interested to imitate novel things, since he opened his eyes in this world



Ninita 3 / 6  
Dec 14, 2013   #1
agree/dis: television advertising directed towards young children should not be allowed

When it comes to the issue of television advertising directed toward young children, some people believe it is better to let them to be free to watch advertisements, while others mention the opposite view. As far as I am concerned, the latter opinion carries more weight. I will present some of the most prominent facts to support my viewpoint.

First, as all we know, humankind is interested to imitate novel things, since he opened his eyes in this world. To clarify, children thanks to theirs age, would like to repeat, especially in this sensitive period of the lifetime, aged two to five. Moreover, some research has been shown that how our children during theirs growing, are declined to move body or learn numerous new words in life. For instance, there is lots of advertising in television that shows a wide range of programs and there is not limitation for those kinds of. In hence, by allowing to children sit in front of the television, they would come up with a large number of unfavorable matters. Consequently, by continuing this method, one day we would not be able to prevent them from doing adverse tasks.

Secondly, at the first glance it seems that there will be no problem to take a look at advertising for our children. However, although fascinating and bright color would make them occupied and amused, it will bring some demerits for us, too. For example, it might be advertisement for adults such as some instruments for couples. In hence, at the first significant factor, it is not important to be seen with child. Also, if he appealed you to buy one of them for him in this age due to his curiously, what would be the next step?

Last but not least, I firmly deem that we should provide a different environment for our children. To illustrate my point, there is plenty of stuff around us that created just for children. So far, when we are able to use those kinds of beneficial material for them, why should we waste their time with vain programs on television. In addition, our children need us to promote their knowledge chiefly in specific ages.

All in all, given the reasons discussed above, as we have seen a variety of advertising in television, all of us are aware that these advertisements do not make sense for children. So, let's put children in the proper way to harvest the most profit for them.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 14, 2013   #2
I will present some of the most prominent facts to support my viewpoint.

This is not necessary to say. It's good to conclude the introduction with a statement that explains your opinion.
OP Ninita 3 / 6  
Dec 14, 2013   #3
dumi
Dear Dumi
Many thanks for your answer. this is an essay for TOEFL exam, and I'm preparing myself for 1 month later. Could you do me a favor and tell me what score can I obtain with my writing ---/30[Almost]? Also, I will try to write another essay according your advice in next writing. Thanks so much.
okaert 4 / 10  
Dec 14, 2013   #4
the first paragraph, as we all know THAT,,,,,,,humankind has inclined to imitate..,,,,,,,,,some researches have shown that,,,,,,,,,, there are lots of advertisements that show
okaert 4 / 10  
Dec 15, 2013   #5
Hi Ninita, I read your answer which is in the above and understand that You will enter toefl exam.The last year,I entered toefl exam and I got 24 point from writing section and at total 86.So, you can post your essay to me to check, also I can send my essays to you and you can evaluate my essays, it can be very beneficial for me and you.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 17, 2013   #6
youhold an opinion
Also, I prefer if this fits in with the structure I suggested to you above. Conclude your introduction with a sentence that clearly express your view. This is it;

In my view, Television advertising has been always affected our life with a wonderful appealing perspective.

You need to refine the structure of your introduction :)


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