Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELST writing task 2 - Essay about the importance of art classes



alazystudent 1 / -  
Jul 25, 2025   #1
Topic: Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a relentless debate over the importance of artistic subjects and whether they should be included by default. Although I align with these subjects playing a crucial role in children's holistic development, I take issue with the belief that students are obliged to learn arts.

On the one hand, supporters of the benefits of arts often highlight their far-reaching influence on youngsters' comprehensive development. While academic subjects require mathematical skills and logical thinking, skill-oriented disciplines, such as painting and drawing, tend to foster pupils' creativity, emotional growth, and even cognitive thinking. For example, students engaged in regular drawing classes are likely to demonstrate better emotional control and creative thinking in problem-solving tasks as they usually observe objects patiently and are exposed to exotic and attractive ideas. Therefore, by integrating creative activities, schools can support balanced emotional, intellectual, and social growth, helping juniors adapt to a fast-paced, changing world today.

However, I do not advocate for the idea that artistic education should be a core subject in high school. Since it is a discipline that depends mostly on individual aptitude, forcing all students to take mandatory art classes might divert time and attention away from subjects more aligned with their aspirations. Thus, it may cause stress and anxiety among pupils due to their indisposition, ultimately becoming an academic burden that affects their overall performance. A student who possesses an innate ability in science, technology, and mathematics, for instance, is supposed to build upon their core strengths and encouraged to take part in artistic activities as an optional activity instead of an obligation. Students should be given the freedom to focus on their individual strengths, whether in arts, science, or technology.

In conclusion, although art education plays an undeniable role in shaping well-rounded individuals, enforcing it as a compulsory subject in high school curricula may overlook learners' diverse aptitudes and interests.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15921  
Jul 26, 2025   #2
While you write a clear compare and contrast essay for the given topic, there are problems with your presentation that will lead to an automatic failing score. The main problem is that you did not follow the discussion instructions of the essay. You did not offer a clear, measured response that shows the side that you actually support. You see, this is a single opinion essay whose discussion paragraphs should be based upon the opinion that you present. For example, you could have indicated that you "Disagree with the statement that student should learn arts to the extent that..." The keyword in the writer's opinion presentation is "to the extent" since that shows the measurement of your response or the end of your support for the given statement. Then the rest of the discussion paragraphs should provide 2 reasons that support your opinion. Unfortunately, you did not discuss the essay in the expected manner so this essay cannot receive a passing score, regardless of how well you discussed your opinion. You simply did not discuss it as expected, in the required format.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELST writing task 2 - Essay about the importance of art classes
ⓘ Need academic writing help? 100% custom and human!
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳