Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

IELT writing: what is your view of success?


extrafresh 13 / 32  
Jul 13, 2011   #1
I'm not good at this kind of topic. It took me hours to complete the writing. Please help.

Success is something which most people try to achieve. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

The history of humankind shows that success begins with desire and people wants to be successful. Since the invention of the word 'success' by our ancestor, more or less, people were beginning to acquire the taste of success. At that times, power, money and respected social status were inscribed on the wall of the pyramid.

Our conception of sucess depends on the way we perceive it. With the changes in time, people's attitude towards success can be varied from great family to aspring career, sparkling lifestyle to simplicity. Success is cultural phenomenon and it is invested with cultural values that appear to lead to the ocurrence of variation. According to more recent studys, when asking about the definition of success, women expect to having a good and stable relationship in their marriage. but their partners would rather pefer to have aspring and decent career, meanwhile younger generation struggles to take on more challenges and excitements than their parents who feel comfortable to stay in a simple and peaceful enviroment.

In my opinion, success is something goes beyond my competence but I work hard to accomplish it through my continuous efforts. In order to achieve it, first of all, I work out a plan based on my personal circumstance. Then I use all my skills and ability to the maxium limit to make it happen. The process may be painful. At the moment of enjoy the fruit of sucess, when I look back the tough days I have been went through, I think I'm sucessful. In the presences of difficuilty, I appreciate the chance of letting me to overcome it and I appreciate the belief of 'I Will Never Give It Up'.

From the above discussion, we can conclude that success is a relative descrptive term of no real substance. We may, at least, give it some precision by defining it and placing it in a context but, whatever we do, we should never forget that success is motivation and a powful weapon which keep us moving forward.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 14, 2011   #2
I like these suggestions from Celu!!

Here is another suggestion:
Occurrence of these variations can be attributed to different backgrounds and cultures.-----Speak this sentence aloud, and see if it sounds better.

From the above discussion, we can conclude that success is a relative descrptive term of no real substance.

I agree!!

Okay Paul, write the essay again and use the suggestions from celu. See if you have any questions about it.

After you repost it with corrections, we'll see if you still have errors.

:-)
OP extrafresh 13 / 32  
Jul 17, 2011   #3
people were beginning to acquire the taste of success(<----

You're right, ajit. Can you look at the sentence if I wrote it in this way:

You will get my point when you look at the invention of the word 'success' by our ancestor(s). Since that time, people were acquiring the taste of feeling so good from being fullfilled.

I appreciate the chance of letting me to overcome it and I appreciate the belief of 'I Will Never Give It Up'.(<---- tooo long sentence, shorten it )

I appreciate the chance of letting me to overcome it. 'I Will Never Give It Up' is the belief keeping in my mind always.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 19, 2011   #4
I appreciate the chance of letting me to overcome it.

Do not capitalize all those words:
I Will Never Give It Up will never give it up!" is the belief keeping in my mind always.

At that time, power, money and respected social status were inscribed on the wall of the pyramid.

Impressive stuff here... this is eloquent writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELT writing: what is your view of success?