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IETLS;What are the causes & solutions for decreasing quality of life in large cities?



valency 8 / 7  
May 11, 2013   #1
TodayïźŒthe quality of life in large cities is decreasing . What are the causes and solutions?

Recent years have witnessed the increasingly deteriorating quality of cities. Population explosion and pollution are attributed to this phenomenon. The corresponding solutions are needed to put forward.

Cities' quality largely depends on two main factors, the living environment and the sense of happiness achieved by its inhabitants. The boom of population in modern cities constitutes the major factor of polluting air quality. With the soaring population, a vast amount of carbon footprints left by massive traffic, which poses a threat to citizens' physical well-being. Besides, in the modern competitive society, office workers are suffering overwhelming competition from the peers. For securing their jobs and in pursuing their career success, they tend to lay excessive energy on working, thus, it results a lack of leisure time left for relaxing and socializing. As a result, a sense of alienation and isolation created that prevents them to achieve mental soundness.

The severity of this situation highlights the urgency of the efforts made by governments. In terms of combating damaged living environment resulted from over population, the administrative organs should allocate funds to the construction of infrastructure in the countryside, in order to facilitate the process of urbanization. Only in this way can the pressure of living space be released. Moreover, regarding to the population problem, governments should employ the influence of the media to lift society' environmental awareness and legislate stringent laws to restrict the number of vehicles. In addition, the authorities could fund heavily on environmentally friendly researches to invent a greener alternative energy to replace petrol.

In conclusion, the worsening living environment and related pollution emphasized the critical role played by the authorities to tackle these disturbing issues.

Thank you for your contribution, thanks in advance

dumi 1 / 6793  
May 11, 2013   #2
Hi,
First, I request you to post your IELTS essays under "Writing Feedback" forum. You need to select it right. Also, you should type a meaningful subject which is unique and descriptive topic for your essay. These are forum rules and you need to follow them if you wish to receive good feed backs.

Okkkkkkk... let's have a look at your essay :)

Recent years have witnessed the increasingly deteriorating quality of cities.

... well your topic is focused on quality of life in cities. This means the quality of life of city dwellers. You need to pay lots of attention to the prompt and align your response to what it asks.

Cities' quality largely depends on two main factors; the living environment and the sense of happiness achieved by its inhabitants.

... I changed the punctuation....
Anyway, I feel your essay is not aligned with the prompt and it's worth re-doing it.


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