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IELTS task II : Illiteracy rates by region and gender; 'it was tearful'


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 4, 2014   #1
The chart below shows estimated world literacy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below. You have to write at least 150 words.

answer

The bar chart below portrayed the estimation of world literacy by gender and region in year 2000. However, there are four groups of region which take part in this survey beside developed country including; Caribbean, Oceania, sub-Saharan Africa, Arab states, and South Asia.

Based on the gender skill of literacy, it was tearful that the greater part of unskilled to write and read placed by woman, with almost more doubled proportion than men in each of measurement. However, in the developed country and Caribbean the proportion between gender illiteracy was neighboring by 15points. It is concluded that the other huge number already well illiterate.

Most of population in the developed country is familiar with reading and writing ability. It is proven that the number of literacy skill in develop country was fascinated with approximately zero in illiteracy. However, Caribbean and Oceania inhabitant who cannot write and read become middle groups by fewer than 20. In other hand, apprehensive portion of illiterate come from Sub-Saharan African, Arab States, and South Asia. Inhabitants, in those three regions, were poor of literacy skill with no more than 30 points.

Overall, we can conclude that Non-globalizers country have big assignment to improves the literacy skill among their society, primarily for women who become the first teacher in the family.




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Feb 5, 2014   #2
However, there are four groups of region which take part in this survey beside developed country including; Caribbean, Oceania, sub-Saharan Africa, Arab states, and South Asia.

"However" is wrongly used here. You could merge this sentence with your previous one to form an introduction of your essay.
The bar chart compares the estimated proportion of illiterate men and women in six regions in 2000.
You should have an overview paragraph after your introduction to show the main trends of the chart, for example:
Overall, more women were illiterate than men in all six areas around the world . Besides, developed countries had the lowest illiteracy rates of both gender in 2000.

Overall, we can conclude that Non-globalizers country have big assignment to improves the literacy skill among their society, primarily for women who become the first teacher in the family

This is quite irrelevant to the prompt of this essay. You don't need to give a deduction from the given data.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 5, 2014   #3
what about my body, is it clear enough to explain chart and table
would you please share
How about constructing conclusion in the writing Task I ?

thank you
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Feb 5, 2014   #4
MostMajority of the population in the developed countrycountries is familiar with reading and writing ability.literate.

It is proven that the number of literacy skill in develop country was fascinated with approximately zero in illiteracy.

Both genders have shown close to zero level of illiteracy level in the developed countries.

However, Caribbean and Oceania inhabitant who cannot write and read become middle groups by fewer than 20.

People of the Caribbean and Oceania have come the second lowest in illiteracy rates while the people of South Asia have recorded the highest rate.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 12, 2014   #5
familiar with reading and writing ability. literate.

this nice, 6 words in once
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Feb 28, 2014   #6
The bar chart below portrayedshows the estimation of world literacy by gender and region in year 2000. However, there are four groups of different regionS

I'm not sure the word "portrayed" could cover the meaning you need. Have you checked it with your dictionary?

tearfu

Have you checked this word with your dictionary?

neighboring

Have you checked this word with your dictionary?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 4, 2014   #7
How about constructing conclusion in the writing Task I ?

Ok, I think you need not to have a conclusion for the Task 1 of IELTS because;
First, a conclusion is your final judgement or opinion. For the task 2 essay you need to have that because it is based on an argument or issue. However, Task 1 asks expects a report of your observations without analysis or opinions. On the other hand, an "overview" is a simple description of the main points. It is a summary of the information shown in the graph or chart.

Second, a conclusion should be at the end of a piece of writing. An overview or general summary could go either at the end or near the beginning. Personally, I think it's a good idea to describe the main features of the graph or chart near the beginning of your essay.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 8, 2014   #8
"However" is wrongly used here.

You should have an overview paragraph after your introduction to show the main trends of the chart

I will, Thank you

Have you checked it with your dictionary?

Thank you for reminds me, eddies

I think you need not to have a conclusion for the Task 1 of IELTS

I see, thank you Dumi
Bob brother 15 / 22  
Mar 22, 2014   #9
I couldn't find any mistake from your essey ! )) I think you have been writing essey for a long time !!! How many months should I spend to write good essey like you ???
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 22, 2014   #10
The bar chart compares the rate of male and female illiteracy in six majorcountries during a period of time in 2000

Well, the chart does not compare, but you compare the data and present an analysis. Also, "countries" is a wrong interpretation. They are regions that each region includes several countries.

The bar chart presents details on illiteracy rates of both genders in six different regions during the year 2000.

In general, all illiteracy rates varied markedly in the countries included.

.... this does not add much value to your overview. Talk about some major observation;
Overall, the developed countries had the least illiteracy rate while the South Asia recorded the highest illiteracy rate.
crystal941 6 / 10 2  
Mar 22, 2014   #11
Isn't the overall too short? :(
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 22, 2014   #12
Hi, Raimov

I couldn't find any mistake from your essey ! )) I think you have been writing essey for a long time !!! How many months should I spend to write good essey like you ???

Actually, I am newcomer also. Yap I was spend long hours to write this essay while IELTS just permitted 20 minutes for finished task 1, how can I do that :(((. Because I still unsatisfied of my ability, so I try it again, even sometimes it slow :D.

Well, the chart does not compare, but you compare the data and present an analysis. Also, "countries" is a wrong interpretation. They are regions that each region includes several countries.

I do think that providing data from several regions in a chart is kind of making comparison among them. But your explanation make a new understanding for me, thank you in advance.

Talk about some major observation

... for this, I think i need more practice :D

Hi, lee

Isn't the overall too short? :(

I don't know exactly the standardization of short or length sentence especially in overview, so I just write what I see :D


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