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Ielts task 2: the impacts of punishment in moral education and the right way to punish children



buiquynhhuong 3 / 6  
Jul 8, 2020   #1

punishment as a lesson?



Moral principles have played an important role in human lives. Many people believe it is even more vital for the young to distinguish right and wrong and punishment should be applied for ethical lessons. I agree with this opinion to a certain extent, this education method is somewhat effective to the youngsters

Kids are always active and curious about things, that the reason why they can't stand staying at one place but moving around. This particular feature combining with their less knowledge may result in a range of mistakes. Hence, parents and educators have to find ways to retrain their behavior and apparently, punishment is the best choice. Those naughty children are too young and conservative to figure out some prohibition which is applied for their safe, in this case, punishment will show its efficience. To be more precise, being punished will leave strong negative emotion for the offspring, consequently, their memories of bad feeling will prevent them to make the same mistake.

Training children in right way is of profuse importance as well. In my opinion, violence should never be allowed. Physical punishment may force our offspring to do our demands but not leave any ethical moral to them and even make them more objective. From my perspective, giving the children reward when they do right then taking it back if they do not obey is the true method. Human, especially kids do have the stereotype of having more, not losing, for this reason, our children are supposed to manage to get reward and to avoid losing their properties, resulting in their obedience. Gradually, they may get habit of doing right thing and feel responsible to behave well.

In conclusion, youngsters need training ethical principles and adults need to know how to teach them. Beating is nowadays not encouraged because of its negative impacts on psychological growth. Instead, parents should spend time explaining or making reward for their kids's manner

leerose111 2 / 4  
Jul 9, 2020   #2
HI~ in paragraphe 3, you use "in my opinion", "from my perspective". Maybe it is better to use this type of word just once.
bangbangbt 5 / 9  
Jul 9, 2020   #3
Next time you should attach the writing prompt. That way people would be able to know what its requirements are and could tell if you are going on the right track. According to your writing, i assume this is the opinion kind of essay.

The majority problem of your essay is academic vocabulary and structure. You are lacking of topic vocabulary and using words that are not academic, some of your sentences are quite speaking-like, which will reduce your point on lexical resource and grammar criteria. For example, Kids are always active and curious about things, that the reason why they can't stand staying at one place but moving around => this is not how people write in academic essays.

Action plan number 1 for you is reading more model essays to understand the academic style, then, try to work on your vocabulary. Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 9, 2020   #4
It appears that you totally misunderstood the original prompt for this essay. The discussion pertains to the necessity of teaching children right from wrong. Your response is incorrect as it it a non-response to the given question. "To a certain extent" does not depict a true measurement of your extent response. A true measurement decides only between an agree or disagree measurement. Your essay will be seen as not having a real opinion and be scored down considerably because of it. There is no middle of the aisle measurement in this instance. Pick one side and defend it in the essay.

Your essay fails to depicts what sort of punishment the parents and teachers should give in order to correct bad behavior in children. So your essay response is not fully developed either. While your response may be based on your knowledge, the scoring potential for the essay would have been increased if you have used relevant examples from your own experience in relation to the discussion suggestion as to how parents and teachers should teach children right from wrong.


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