It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
The importance of teaching children how to distinguish right and wrong is undeniable in contemporary society and punishment has been seen an effective tool to achieve this purpose. In my opinion, I partially agree with it.
Punishment may lead to some desirable outcomes in certain situations. The majority of children tend to be curious about things happened around them which means that they are likely to be attracted by some immoral or even illegal things such as doing drugs. During this time, actions need to be taken by both parents and teachers because they have the responsibility to lead children to a right and positive path. However, some kids may be too naughty to be educated, so proper punishment could be carried out to help them.
Punishment without harm to physical health can be used to teach children to behave well. Grounding, for example, could be a way to offer children the space to calm down and help them have self-examination. Nevertheless, the frequency of such punishment should be controlled by parents and teachers because it can impose some negative impact on children considering that childhood is an important time to form their perspective towards their future life and the world.
In conclusion, I think that some punishment can be used but parents and educationalists are better not to use it frequently as it may cause some undesirable consequences on children's psychological development.
In your introduction you have not completely paraphrased you topic..
There is no doubt, youngsters,at an early age should learn to distinguish ...
In your second para, you have not clearly express your view "for example you wrote proper punishment, you have to explain what type of punishment"
I hope this helps, keep writing.
hii,.. here my suggestion.
you can make your text more readable by using a simple word instead of complex word or you can use a complex word but make sure that you add some conjunction, punctuation, and make attention on your s-v agreement.
on your first paragraph: To make your thought flow and clear, you should add a
strong verb for "importance"
The importance of teaching children is how to distinguish the right and the wrong things which is an undeniable in contemporary society . Punishment has been.............
Hello Amanda Liang, it is very nice to see your essay and it was a very interested topic for us. However, I've some correction for you to make your essay more good and also to increase your knowledge about writing. So, keep watch!
On the first sentence of first paragraph, you write ".....important for children to learn the difference between...." I suggest to you to give word "about" between "learn" and "the" because reader really don't about meaning of your sentence. As such, it should be change with ".....important for children to learn about the difference between...." And also at the third sentence of second paragraph, you write ".....they have
the responsibility...." I think word "the" should be replace to make your sentence better.
I think that's all for me, and keep writing and practice!
hi..let me see your essay..
importanceimportant of teaching children how to distinguish (...) punishment has been seen as an effective toolway to achieve this purpose.
... likely to be attracted by
someseveral immoral or even illegal ...
harmharming to (...) used to teach children to behave well. adequate. Grounding, for example, it could be a way to offer ...
... be used but parents and
educationalistseducator s are better not to use...
too much repetition abot 'some" and others,,you should change with proper words