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Punishment is necessary to help children distinguish between right and wrong


linhnguyen3108 1 / -  
Jun 4, 2020   #1

How to make children learn difference between right and wrong



Topic: It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Essay:Essay:
It is some time argued that whether parents should apply punishments to their offspring as a way to teach them to distinguish between right and wrong. While this could be true in a certain extent, I believe that punishment plays an important role in educating children. However, not all punishment can take positive effects.

Admittedly, controlling children's behavior when they are still in young age keep them in line and avoid social evils. This is because children are vulnerable to be affected by temptation from the surroundings such as electronic games, violent-contained videos or pornographic films. Certain punishments enable children to understand what behavior is beneficial to them and hence to stay away from bad doings. This is exemplified in the study undertaken by American professors. They indicated that kids lacking the control from their parents are more likely to become crimes rather than those getting a good education. Thus, it is completely plausible for parents to carry out punishments to protect their offspring from adverse effects.

However, this is not to say that all punishments are good for children. Some parents today tend to use violent actions causing serious influences on physical and mental health of children. Instead of that, parents should use minor punishments associated with valuable lessons for children. For example, some parents asked their offspring to clear their room as a way to teach them to give up untidy habits. Besides, parents could talk with their offspring and give them significant advices if the mistake caused is unimportant.

After discussing all the points mentioned above, I can conclude that punishment is necessary for teaching children. Parents should have considerations to choose the best educational measure to ensure children's development in the future.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4800  
Jun 4, 2020   #2
This essay will get a failing score because it did not follow the required discussion format. Based on the original prompt, the following indicators should have shown up in the response discussion:

Topic: It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age
Reason: Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Additional Instruction: What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?


If you breakdown the original presentation in the above manner, you should be able to see when you veer away from the instructions or, if you have forgotten to address certain aspects of the discussion. In your case, the following can be seen:

Topic: parents should apply punishments to their offspring (Correct)
Reason: teach them to distinguish between right and wrong ( Correct, but lacks the use of alternative words to represent the original keywords. You used the cut and paste phrase "between right and wrong this would affect your LR and GRA score.)

Response: ... true in a certain extent (Lacking an emotional response and clear opinion. What do you really believe? Pick one side)
Additional response: not all punishment can take positive effects. (Incorrect. You failed to represent a discussion of alternative punishments for teachers and parents)


Your essay, based on your given response outline clearly failed to address the last discussion instruction in the original presentation. This led you to alter the total, overall discussion and in the process, create an essay that did not fully address the prompt. You did not represent all of the required discussion instructions so your essay is only partially relevant and correct in addressing the requirements. It may be difficult for this work to get a passing score since there are also other grammar related errors that exist in the essay, which would have further lowered the final scoring consideration.

The instruction was to provide alternative punishments for parents and teachers to apply to the children. You only focused on the parent discussion. That means the essay is missing out on discussing specific, important points in the presentation. This will lead to a lower than expected TA score as well. This is an additional reason why I said it will be difficult for this essay to achieve a 5 band score.


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