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Importance of working conditions? Focus on products or working conditions?



hoangdaochu 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2010   #1
Topic: Enormous effort is put into researching and marketing 'the perfect potato crisp
while research into stress at work, for example, is ignored
How important are staff working conditions? Should employers research and improve the working conditions of their staff or should they concentrate more on their product?


In nowaday competitive market, the quality of product is essential to a business's success. For that matter, enormous effort is paid into researching and marketing, in order to cut down the costs and maximize profit. As the matter of fact, in many businesses, such significant part of investment is concentrated on products that employee's working conditions are somehow overlooked. Is sole focus on goods and services enough for success? Or do employees' benefit derserve more attention? This essay will attempt to answer those.

On one side, those who support virtually full investment on researching and marketing would argue that business is all about making profit. Research would lower cost. Marketing is to help increase turnover. Noone would disagree that low cost and high revenue will result in maximized profit. Besides, with adequate attention paid to products, the quality of commodities is ensured. Company's image, in turn, is polished.

On the other hand, many people, including myself, are for a bigger share of input into improving staff's working conditions. Firstly, employees would not be able to fully concentrate on their works if they had to work with a residential fear of work accidents. Secondly, with reasonable rewards for their performance, specifically, high salary, the company will prevent potential loss of experience labor. The maintain of experienced and talent workforce would in turn warrant long-term success.

In summary, it is my opinion that a company should acquire a reasonable proportion of money to spend on researching and marketing activities and on improving employees' working conditions. In fact, advance theorists have been referring the labor as one of the most important factors for businesses orienting sustainable development.

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Please help me to give feedbacks (highly appreciate those specifying on grammar, structure, wordings.. or any other aspects that matter)!!
I am aiming Ielts band 7.0 - it might still be far to go, somehow i've got to give it a try.
If you have the same target or similar interests, I would be very glad to have discussions with. If you are experienced Ielts taker with high band, I would welcome any critisism. Thanks !!!!!

biehayumie - / 2  
Dec 2, 2010   #2
i think u have a g0od point,but the way how to el0berate the arguments sh0uld be impr0ved.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 16, 2010   #3
In the first paragraph, the words "benefit" and "product" should both probably have an s at the end. However, it is not incorrect the way you wrote it. It would just be a little better if they were plural.

No one (2 words)

The company's image, in turn, is polished.

Firstly, employees would not be able to fully concentrate on their works work if they had to work with a residential fear of work accidents. ------Residential is probably not the right word here. Maybe you mean "lingering."

Secondly, with reasonable rewards for their performance, specifically, high salary, the company will prevent potential loss of experience labor. ----perfect!! But to make it better you can change will to would because you used would in the previous sentence.

The maintaining of experienced and talent workforce would in turn warrant long-term success.

In fact, advanced theorists have been referring the labor as one of the most important factors for businesses orienting achieving sustainable development.

This is excellent. I think you should feel very confident!


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