Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


'Important from medical point of view' - Pets should be treated like family members



dolly 12 / 32  
Feb 21, 2011   #1
Humans are the soicial beings they love to interact and communicate and so are animals. They are similar to human beings in many ways. They have their own way to express their love and emotions, its just that they can not speak like we do. In my opinion pets should be treated like family members because its more of our desire to keep them with us then theirs to be with us. They are happy in their community and they also enjoy freedom . But its we humans who make this separation and susequent captivation for fulfilling our own desires. Therefore , its not our wish to whether treat them as our family member or not rather I feel its our moral duty to provide them with everything that we have taken from them. For example, we bring a small 2 days or week old puppy to make our children happy without even thinking about that the mother of that pup or how that pup must be feeling without the warmth of his mother. I feel its so inhuman if we do not provide him with the same love or care that its mother would have given to him.

Another fact is that pets are extremely helpul for us . They are great companions for those who are lonely and want someone to share their feelings , believe me , they have their own way of expressing their feelings that just cannot be explained in words. They give us a great lesson of forgiveness, Whenever we are agitated we scold them for our mistakes but they return to us the next moment , completely forgetting what we did to them. Forgiveness is a great virtue that we all should learn from them.

Apart from this , they also important from medical point of view. Many researches have concluded that pets are greatly helpful in relieving stress and overcoming distress , the key factors responsible for many cardiovascular and psychological diseases like depression. Sometimes they can also help us in carrying out many household works , like a dog can look after for kid when you are busy in your kitchen or call look after your house when you are not at home.Therefore , I feel that the only way in which we can reciprocate this love, care and affection ,that they show us ,is by treating them as our own family member.

niesaysi 16 / 281  
Feb 21, 2011   #2
hello...
You have misspelled this word:
susequent(subsequent)
And please evade confusing to use appropriate punctuation marks. There are lines in some sentence with no commas.It is vital to use comma because a reader will suppose to go directly into another sentence or they will be able to confuse where would rest...that's make them misunderstand your essay...
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 26, 2011   #3
Notice the two sentences you put together as one run-on sentence: They have their own way to express their love and emotions, its just that they can not speak like we do.

That is the kind of mistake that will make them take points off your score.

Look at writing by Hemingway or Stephen King. You will notice that good writers use short sentences. :-)
They have their own way to express their love and emotions. It's just that they cannot speak like we do.

In my opinion pets should be treated like family members because its more of our desire to keep them with us then theirs to be with us. --You mean we should not eat them? Humans eat animals just like monsters in a Tim Burton film.

Use an apostrophe: But it's we humans... "it is" = it's
"Belonging to it" = its

Sometimes they can also help us in carrying out many household works , like a dog can look after for kid when you are busy in your kitchen or call look after your house when you are not at home.---No! Don't let the dog watch the kid! Well, it depends on what kind of dog, I guess, LOL.

Sometimes they can also help us in carrying out many household works; for example, a dog can look after the kid when you are busy in your kitchen or can look after your house when you are not at home.----I made small changes here. The semi-colon works like a period.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'Important from medical point of view' - Pets should be treated like family members
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳