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It is More Important to Work at a Job that You Enjoy than it's to Earn a Lot of Money

bahareh 18 / 50  
Jul 9, 2011   #1
Hi every body please see my essay and tell me how it works for tofle test like an esssay with higher score.thanks
Most people enjoy their high salary and it makes them feel satisfied of being affordable for all their living cost. Because of this feeling, they work hard even they don't have enjoyment. However, life is too small and too valuable to be wasted like this to earn more and more money. Some people desire to work at a job that makes them feel enjoyment to have their interest job, more free time, and good environment at work.

First, people prefer working at a favorite job that they enjoy rather than earning a lot of money. If they love their job and find it interesting, they absolutely feel happy and successful. For example, while teaching in school; I really enjoy my job even though I earn less money. I feel more energy and great passion when I teach, so it helps me get high level of performance that aims to have more enjoyment.

Second, people enjoy more at a job that provides more free time for them. They are eager to do their job because they find more free time during work hours and feel free to do their personal things which save their time for their family. If somebody has a high responsibility in his or her job position, he or she doesn't feel free in any time; though, he or she earns a lot of money. Moreover, nobody does have time to enjoy this money earned since there is no time to sit and play with his or her children.

Third, if somebody finds a good environment at his work, he would enjoy more than earning more money. It is really important to have friendly co-workers at work to spent pleasant time and do their job together peacefully. Work hours would be at least eight hours in a day, so lack of a pleasant environment is a real matter for anyone who wants to enjoy through a work day. As a result, people who seek to enjoy more at their work than earn money; find their pleasant environment at their job.

As sum up, money is essential for the survival but should not become our obsession. It is a fact that enjoying at work, is more important than earning more money, and it is caused by more having free time and good environment during a favorite job.

OP bahareh 18 / 50  
Jul 11, 2011   #2
Thanks a lot for helping me through this essay, I try to rewrite my essay and correct it.Is it possible for me to get a higher score for Tofel test by writing an essay like this one? please let me know how I can get more improvement?

Thank you so much.
ghafarimahsa 15 / 41  
Jul 12, 2011   #3
Bahar, in case you are living in Iran, I have some suggestions to improve your TOEFL exam. If so, email me then I'll give you my phone number. GOOOOOOD LUCK

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jul 13, 2011   #4
Hey, I don't think there is anything to worry about. I read the essay, and the mistakes are very small ones. If you write this well when you take the test, I think you will surely get a great score.


Anyway, if you are ready to spend some time to improve, you should type every sentence the way Susan showed you. Speak each sentence aloud after you type it. Learn that English grammar!!!

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